What I'm Not
by Rhysch
Summary: Request for a Loki/"normal girl of Asgard" pairing. Starting off with them young, meeting, growing up, etc. Characters from Thor movie!verse. Not really sure where it's going yet, but enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. So, someone asked me to write a Loki/normal girl pairing, and I decided I would. Here's the first chapter. Establishing character, yadayada. I'll start out with them young and see where that takes me, because I don't feel like Loki would quite go for a "normal girl" of Asgard, but we'll see! Anyway, I don't own any of this, and I'm writing the characters as I see them in the Thor movieverse. Enjoy.**

Her name was Anaximandra, and she was, in every aspect, a walking cliché.

It wasn't the fact that she was so incredibly typical that made her cliché, although undoubtedly she was. It was her wants, her desires, which made her as such. Perhaps in Asgard she was different—not many girls she knew were like her—but according to the many books she read, she was exactly "that girl". The girl who had big aspirations but would never, could never, see them through.

What made her different from the characters that she so hungrily read about was her acknowledgement of the truth. She wanted to explore, to go places, to visit realms she knew she would never see and meet people she'd never know. However naïve she may have looked, she had accepted her unfortunate fate long ago: she would never star in any of the adventures she dreamed of.

That being said, Ana couldn't stop herself from dreaming. She dreamt often; she spent more time daydreaming than she did living, and she was often scolded for her lack of concentration at her lessons. Her mother discouraged her frivolous activities, but her father secretly encouraged her. When she was young, he brought her to a small place hidden from the world, the gods, and virtually all humanity.

"Where are we going, Father?" Ana asked. She held his hand and hurried after him, wishing he would slow his gait. After all, she was only six at the time, and her legspan had yet to reach even half of her father's.

"Just a little further, flower," he said, sweeping her up in his arms. He had many a pet name for her, and Ana had grown to accept anything he called her.

After combing their way through the thicket of trees and bushes, stepping over various rocks and small streams, they found a small opening in the forest. Sunlight shone through the clearing onto the fresh flowers. There was a sparkling stream nearby. Ana's father set her down.

"Where are we?" she asked smally, looking around with huge blue eyes.

"This," her father said softly, "is your place." He smiled and bent down on his knees to look her in the eye. "Our place."

Ana smiled brightly. "'Tis pretty," she remarked.

"Ana," he continued, placing a hand on her shoulder, "There will be times when you feel alone and pressured by those around you. Whenever you feel burdened in this way, I want you to have a place to go, as I did growing up. Your escape."

Ana nodded. She didn't quite understand, as she was young, but she found the place very beautiful and she planned on visiting it as often as possible.

Over the years, her father took her back to the small clearing. There they talked about everything and grew very close. After he died when she was just ten, she visited the place nearly every day, hoping to find him waiting there for her. She never did, of course, and the clearing seemed a little less bright after he'd gone from her life.


	2. Chapter 2

She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help it. It was so bright and beautiful outside—Ana felt it almost criminal to keep children inside for lessons during days such as these. It was lunchtime now, and she didn't have long, but she thought if she hurried she might be able to visit her meadow.

She stumbled through the forest to the clearing. To any other person, she might seem as if she was lost, haphazardly flailing through the branches and over the rocks. But Ana knew exactly where she was going. The path to her clearing was known by heart.

Finally, she saw it: a bright corner of light in the distance. She ran toward it, feeling the anticipation of being able to let go, be alone with her thoughts, away from those who might scold her for it. She ran to the edge of the meadow and nearly ran in, when she saw someone.

Ana stopped in her tracks, not knowing what to do. This was _her_ meadow. If anyone had rights to it, it was Ana. How did the boy even find the meadow? She'd never shown anyone, that was for sure. She supposed it was possible to find the place, but one would have to be looking exceptionally hard, and even then, have an exceptional desire to be alone.

Ana knelt behind a bush and watched the stranger. He couldn't have been more than ten or eleven—her age. He was pale, almost deathly so, but his white skin had a soft glow to it. His hair was black, slicked back, but it curled at the nape of his neck and stuck out in a few places, giving him a boyish look, despite its reserved nature. His clothes looked nice—more expensive than an average Asgardian could afford. Ana leaned forward, trying to get a better look.

A branch underneath her foot broke. The boy looked up; he had been reading a book, the spine of which he snapped shut the moment he heard the rustle from Ana's bush. "Who's there?" he called suspiciously, looking around.

Ana remained still. She felt she was intruding, although he was obviously the _real_ intruder. She held her breath and curled behind the bush further as he stood up: his body was long and lean, and she might've described him as gawky if he didn't have a certain smoothness to the way he moved, walking about the small clearing.

"Show yourself," he said. Then, clicking his tongue: "You can't hide forever; there's nowhere to go in this forest where I won't find you."

Ana winced. She wasn't one much for hiding. Slowly, she stood and cleared her throat. The boy turned toward her, eyes wide, expression calculating. "Who are you?" he asked, stepping toward her curiously. "I hadn't expected a girl."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ana asked defensively, stepping into the clearing. She threw her golden curls over her shoulders as if disregarding their feminine qualities.

"Nothing bad, I suppose," the boy remarked casually. He turned back to where he'd been sitting. "Did Thor ask you to follow me?" He paused for a moment, then answered himself. "No, he wouldn't think of it." He turned back to her. "Why are you here?"

Ana stood watching him. She half-wanted to berate him for questioning her presence in her own meadow, but something he said had stuck with her. "Did you say 'Thor'? As in the prince of Asgard?"

"No," the boy said, lowering his eyes. His lashes were dark against his pale skin. For a moment, he seemed almost disappointed, but when he spoke again there was mirth in his tone. "I said 'Thor' as in my brother."

Ana's eyes widened. He couldn't be telling the truth, but then it did make the niceness of his clothes make sense. "Then that would make you…."

"That would make me…" the corners of his lips curled up, almost in a smile, but there was a bit of mockery in his tone now. He sat down in the grass again and picked up his book, opening to the page he'd left off on.

"Loki," she finished, blinking. She'd heard of the princes, sure. Everyone had. But she'd never dreamt of meeting one. They were kept in the castle, away from peasants like her. They were given food and rich clothing and lessons and training for fighting. Yet, here he was. Loki, the…well, the _other_ prince. Truth be told, everyone knew who was expected to rise to the throne, and it was not the young boy who sat before her.

She walked a bit further into the meadow and placed her hands on her hips. Loki didn't so much as spare her a look, but she could swear he wasn't really reading if she watched closely.

Ana cleared her throat. Still, no response from the prince. Finally, she spoke, determined. "So what are you doing in my meadow?"

Loki still didn't look up. He turned a page in the dusty book. "I didn't know you had laid claim to it."

Ana dug her heels into the grass. "Well, I do. You're intruding."

The corners of his lips twitched, but his expression remained the same. "So I am."

Ana gritted her teeth. His responses were more than infuriating and less than argumentative. Part of her felt out of place—she was, after all, arguing with a prince of Asgard. If he wanted, he could probably have her thrown into a pit for all eternity—or so that's what her young, naïve mind told her.

"So you can't be here!" She stomped her foot into the grass, and felt foolish for doing so moments after.

Loki finally spared her a look, and she wished he hadn't. It made her feel even more trivial, and less angry than ashamed of her argumentative nature. But it was her meadow, and she was going to fight for it.

"On what grounds?" Loki asked simply. His green eyes were so bright they nearly matched the grass.

Ana shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I've been coming here for years. It's my secret place."

Loki looked around, then lazily returned his gaze to her. "Not much of a secret now, I suppose." He looked back at his book, and she thought she heard him chuckle.

Ana sighed. "I suppose not." She sat down on the grass in front of him. If he was adamant about staying here, she would be adamant about getting to know him, for better or worse.


	3. Chapter 3

"Aren't you supposed to be at a lesson?" Loki remarked casually from behind his book. His questions had an air of finality to them, and in the short span of time from the time they met to the present, Ana had already taken note of this. It was as if he already knew the answers to the questions he asked, so it was really no use answering after all.

So instead, Ana answered with a question of her own. "Aren't you supposed to be doing…prince-things?"

Loki laughed. It was a strange sound, one mixed of dull agreement and genuine mirth. "Touché," he said, setting down his book to look at her.

Ana smiled triumphantly and looked back. It had been hard enough getting his attention, and now she had to keep it. Then again, if she knew the real truth, she would have known that Loki had been more interested her than the dusty old book he'd been holding for the past twenty minutes.

Ana twisted her mouth, playing with a strand of grass. Loki watched her curiously. "What's your name?"

Ana smiled. She didn't want to be what she was: a simple girl of Asgard. She wanted to reinvent herself for Loki, tell him hundreds of stories of adventures she never had. But truth be told, she was a terrible liar. She settled on responding with another question. "Why are you asking?"

Loki shrugged. "Fair's fair. You know my name, so I get to know yours."

Ana nodded. "It's Anaximandra, but everyone calls me Ana."

"Well, Ana," Loki began, standing up as he spoke. She stood as well; she didn't much like being towered over, and she already felt somewhat inferior to the prince of Asgard. "My deepest apologies for intruding. I suppose it is time for me to get back before anyone notices I've gone." His words hung on the last part of the sentence, as if he only wished for that attention. He held the old book to his chest.

Ana nodded slowly. "Yeah," she said, only just noticing the melancholy note in her voice. She wasn't upset about him leaving so much as she was about losing the opportunity to make a friend. Friends were in short supply for Ana, as she mostly kept to herself. As the other girls dreamt of marriage and children, she dreamt of other realms completely. In fact, her dreams were often lacking that 'knight-in-shining-armour' character, which she found dreadfully cliché in most of her novels.

She watched Loki retreat into the woods, his movement so agile across the rocky path. She watched until she could no longer see him. Then she laid in the grass and stared at the sky awhile until it turned a dusty gray colour, signaling her return home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! After this I'm going to try to skip around a bit to different parts of their lives so the timeline's not so insanely static, and we get more relationship development. Anyway, let me know how you like it.**

"_Anaximandra!_"

Ana had snuck back into her room through the tiny window. It was on the second floor, albeit, but she'd always been one up for a challenge and she'd taught herself over the years to scale the wall using the ancient vines that had grown along the side of it. Sometimes she'd imagine herself as a skilled acrobat or a self-taught warrior as she scaled the old wall.

Sometimes she got away with it, and sometimes she didn't. Today was one of the latter. She could hear from her mother's tone of voice that she was in trouble. That, and the use of her full name was enough to indicate such.

Ana slid down the railing of the stone stairs and onto the floor. "Yes, mother?" she asked innocently.

"You skipped your afternoon lessons," she said. Her gray eyes were cold and weary.

Ana lowered her eyes. "I meant to return," she began, twisting her ankle around, "but I met a prince!" She looked up again to see her mother sigh.

"Ana, you cannot simply ignore your lessons for these…these fantasies in your head!" She turned her back on Ana, who had opened her mouth in attempts to explain that she was not, in fact, lying about the prince. "You are to sleep without a meal tonight."

"But mother—," Ana said.

"Go," was all her mother said. Ana frowned and walked back up the stairs slowly, morosely. She laid on her bed facedown and thought of the intruding prince. Perhaps she was delusional. She was so used to imagining things; it was only a matter of time before they slipped into her reality.

The next time she went back to her meadow, he wasn't there. He wasn't there the time after that either. After a while, she had convinced herself that she'd simply made him up, conjured him into existence, and proceeded to banish him away after calling him an intruder.

She spent most of the following days trying to focus on her lessons more and gain the approval of her mother. Only on her days off would she go to the meadow, and even then she tried to prevent her mind from daydreaming. One particular day she lay in the bright sun and closed her eyes, slipping into another daydream. This time she dreamt of visiting Earth. Most people thought of Earth as one of the lower-realms, but from what she'd read, she found it quite pleasant and relaxing.

She smiled to herself and opened her eyes. Inches away from her face was Loki, staring at her with startlingly green eyes.

Ana huffed a gasp and pushed herself backwards away from him. "What are you doing?" she nearly shrieked.

"In reference to what?" Loki asked, a lazy smile on his face. "I'm sorry; you'll have to be more specific."

"What are you doing _here_?" Ana specified crossly. She didn't want to engage in his silly game—if that was what this was. It seemed most of what he said seemed to perpetuate some sort of ongoing game. Ana sat up and folded her arms across the folds of her dress, which was now tainted with grass stains.

Loki sat down on the grass. "Same as you, I suppose."

Ana pursed her lips and huffed again. "And what do you _suppose_ I'm doing here?" She didn't want him to think he knew her, because he didn't. She wasn't going to let him steal her secret place, and she definitely wasn't going to let him stereotype her as she often did with characters in books.

"I dunno," he said, reclining onto the grass. "What _are_ you doing here?"

He was infuriating Ana and he knew it. Even more so, Ana _knew_ that he knew it. She hated that he could twist her emotions without so much as a few words. And now she was just…well, confused. What was his game?

"You just said you knew," she said, raising an eyebrow.

Loki sat up and looked at her. "I lied."

Ana licked her lips and looked around. "Look, this is _my_ meadow. I found it first. You can't keep coming here." She watched for a reaction, but his expression remained the same. "'Sides, my mother doesn't even believe me. She doesn't think you're real."

"Good," Loki said.

"Good? How is that good?"

Loki shrugged and reclined back into the grass. Ana let out a groan. She knew she couldn't keep him from coming here, no matter how hard she tried. "Fine," she finally said. Then she was silent. If he could get away with silence, so could she.

After a moment, Loki sat up. "What?"

Ana looked at him. "If you're going to insist on staying, then we're gonna have to be friends."

"Friends," Loki mused. He looked at her blankly, as if the word was foreign. He hesitated, then continued to speak. "I've never had a friend before," he admitted. "I mean there's Sif and Fandral and…but those are Thor's friends, really. They don't like me much," he added as if it was a casual afterthought.

Ana twisted her mouth a bit, biting back a smile. It was the most he'd said to her since they met, and it was also probably the truest. "Well, Loki," she said, holding out her hand. "Now you have a friend."


	5. Chapter 5

Ana ducked into the meadow. Loki was sitting in the grass as usual, with another book in hand. But he wasn't reading it, rather, he was staring into space. Ana could almost see his thoughts racing through his mind.

At the sound of her entrance, he turned toward her and smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. Ana always liked it when he smiled because it made him seem more personable, like a real friend—not a distant, unreachable being.

"How's throne training?" she asked, sitting down next to him. She had come up with a number of pet-names for Loki's "duties" as a prince that he so often shirked.

Loki shrugged. Instead of answering, he opened his book and began to read.

Ana sighed. "Another book?"

The corners of Loki's mouth twitched, but he didn't look up. "You're one to talk."

"Why do you bring them here?" Ana asked, looking around the meadow.

Loki turned a page. When he spoke, he sounded as if he might laugh, but there was a certain sadness in his voice. "Between Thor and the warriors three, there isn't much of a dull moment in the throne room." He paused; then: "They'd mock me for reading."

"That's stupid," Ana said. "Reading's the best."

"Mm," Loki agreed casually, immersed in his book. Ana waited a moment, then reached to flip over the cover. Loki protested as she read the title aloud: "Theoretical magic and Multi-dimensional mathematics?"

"Seems more useful than the fighting methods they insist I learn with Thor," he said slowly. "Thor is a natural-born fighter; training is fun for him."

"I'm sure you're a gallant fighter," Ana said, nudging him with her elbow lightly.

Loki chuckled. "Clearly you haven't seen me fight firsthand." He sighed and a strand of his dark hair fell over his face. "I'm not a bad fighter, I just choose not to rely on…traditional methods," he said.

"Well, at least you _can _fight," Ana said, a sense of longing in her voice.

"You're a girl," Loki said. Ana elbowed him in the ribs, harder this time. He grunted and rubbed his side. "I just meant it was acceptable," he added in clarification.

"So? That doesn't mean I can't learn. I just need a proper teacher, is all." She didn't want to be a warrior, but she was interested in the art of fighting—it made her feel like some fantastic character in one of her novels. She'd always thought of the most skilled fighters as dancers more than anything else. Besides, she knew it would be something her mother wouldn't approve of and, well, that fact made her want to learn all the more.

Loki hesitated. "I…well, I could teach you a few techniques, if you like."

"Would you?"

Loki nodded and set his book down. He stood up, and Ana stood with him expectantly. He'd grown since she'd first met him. She hadn't thought it possible, but he'd become even leaner than he had been before, the hollow in his throat becoming more prominent.

Loki smiled slyly as he looked at her. "Let's see what you've got."


	6. Chapter 6

"It's useless. I'm no good at this," Ana sighed, taking a step back. They'd been at it off and on for weeks, and she still couldn't do much more than when she'd started.

Loki smiled encouragingly. "You just have to focus." He paused and watched her. "Try to hit me."

Ana blinked. "Hit you? Why would I hit you?"

Loki shook his head. "Don't talk, just do it." He stepped forward into her reach. Ana shrugged and threw her fist forward, directly at his chest. With a swift movement, he dodged her hit. Ana blinked in confusion. She threw her fist at his face this time. He was so close, she was sure she'd hit him. But she didn't. At the last possible moment, he dodged her fist again. Frustrated, she began to throw her small fists in every which was, very aware of how unprofessional she was being. However, she did not hit Loki, not even once.

Out of breath, Ana threw her arms to her side in resignation. "That's not fair," she panted.

Loki smiled. "Who said fighting was fair? Fighting is about winning. One mustn't always need to use force to gain the upper hand."

Ana glared at him and straightened her posture. "Force isn't your strong point, is it?" she said harshly. She was annoyed that he'd chosen to belittle her just to teach her a lesson. What made him so superior, after all?

Loki looked taken aback. "Well, no," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck, "But fighting is just as much about wits as it is strength, if not more so." His tone had become defensive, and he looked down at the grass, his lashes dark against his pale cheeks.

Ana was quiet for a moment. She was now beginning to realize how Loki felt when it came to Thor—inferior, irrelevant, and never quite good enough—much the same as she felt when compared to Loki.

"Fair enough," she agreed cheerfully. Loki looked up, eyes wide, searching her face. "What?" she asked. He blinked. "Are you going to teach me how you did that, or are you going to just stand there?"

Loki smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Ana was sitting by the small stream that was in the shade of the meadow. She let her fingers run through the clear water. It was cool and refreshing. She vaguely wondered if the stream led to a lake of sorts, and if so, if it'd be good enough for swimming. Then again, she might have a hard time of explaining her wet clothes to her mother. She was beginning to become more of a young lady and she was expected to grow out of these childish ways and fantasies. Truth be told, she never wanted to grow up. Sometimes she felt she shared this connection with Loki—not in the way that he didn't want to grow up, but in the way that they both had somewhat a fear of the future and what was to become of them. Both knew what their fate was and there was hardly enough room to deviate from the given path.

Loki was late. They'd started synching their meetings so they'd know when to expect each other. Meeting by chance was becoming harder and harder, and Ana still had yet to see him outside of her meadow. After all, he _was_ a prince. They didn't run in the same circles.

However, Ana had contented herself with some alone time. There was never any use looking for Loki—she'd learned this when she'd gone searching for him before. If Loki did not desire to be found, he wouldn't be, the tricky bastard.

She untied her sandals, careful not to soil her dress, and watched as the water engulfed her feet. It felt nice, and she wondered why she didn't do it more often. Then she thought better of it and pulled her feet out; perhaps she was becoming too much of a sentimentalist.

From the opposite end of the meadow, she heard a noise. She turned around. Loki's entrance was usually silent; he liked to startle her, and though she'd grown accustomed to it, she jumped nearly every time and he earned a swat on the shoulder. This time, however, Loki's entrance was noisy and…clumsy. He stumbled into the edge of the meadow, holding his side a bit, face lowered and hidden by the shadows of the trees.

"Loki?" Ana asked, standing and walking toward him. "Are you…what happened?"

Loki slowly straightened his posture, wincing slightly. He looked at her, regaining his casual air. "Sorry I'm late," he said lowly, voice a little strained. His face was a mess, blood running from both his nose and mouth. His skin was exceptionally pale, even for Loki.

"What happened to you?" Ana went to put a hand on his shoulder, but thought better of it.

Loki shrugged, as usual. "I may've had a run-in with some people," he said vaguely, carefully stepping around her and stumbling a bit. Ana sighed and helped him sit down as he continued. "Some barbarian and his friends thought it'd be fun to use me as a punching bag."

"Wait here," she said. She ran to the stream and looked down at her dress regretfully before tearing a piece of it. She wet the cloth and ran back to Loki, beginning to clean up his face.

He winced. "You really don't have to—," he began.

"If I don't, who will?" she asked bluntly. Loki was silent. She wiped at the dried blood as carefully as she could. "So what _really_ happened?"

"I told you," Loki persisted, voice muffled by the cloth as she wiped at his lips.

"No," Ana said, "I want the real story. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't deserve this." She suppressed a grin; she knew Loki, and whatever had happened, she was nearly sure he deserved it. Though, in her eyes, that didn't justify the violence.

Loki twisted his mouth a bit. "Well, I may have taken something of his."

"You stole something?"

"I wouldn't say 'stole' so much as 'borrowed'," he rationalized. "And it wasn't his to begin with. It was our sword master's. He conveniently 'borrowed' it to show it off as if it were his own."

Ana shot him a look. "So you stole it from him to get him in trouble. Why didn't you just give it back?"

Loki dodged her look of disapproval. "I didn't have it."

Ana raised her eyebrows. "You lost it?"

Loki chuckled. "I wouldn't say it was 'lost' so much as 'thrown down a well', but yes, that seems to be the gist of it."

Ana shoved his shoulder, but grinned in spite of herself. Loki laughed and held his side, groaning. "I think I bruised a rib or two."

Ana laughed. "I think you deserved it, you idiot." She shoved him lightly again, careful not to hurt him. "Where was Thor in all this?"

Loki's smile faded. "I don't need Thor to fight my battles."

"If he's willing, it may be the smart thing to do," Ana said.

Loki was quiet. "Thor needn't know about this." He looked at Ana for a moment, then away.

"Why are you so adamant about refusing Thor's help? What've you got to prove?" Her tone was soft and imploring. She only wanted to know why he was being so stubborn. Thor could've easily helped him out of a situation like this, yet Loki seemed to think this was the worst possible solution.

Loki was very quiet. He looked out into the forest and whispered one word: "Everything."

Ana didn't quite understand, but before she had the chance to question him, he changed the subject. "Perhaps you can come to visit me sometime," he mused. "I'd love to show you the library. You could even borrow some books if you want."

Ana's eyes lit up. "Really? Could I?"

Loki smiled. "So long as we keep this place a secret." He looked around at the peaceful meadow. Ana nodded in agreement. She had never wanted anyone to find out about this place, but if there was one person she was willing to share it with, it was Loki.

"Deal," she said with a smile.

That night when she returned home, her mother scolded her for the rip in her dress. She apologized and got sent to her room without food, yet again. Ana had long since given up trying to convince her mother of her friendship with the prince. Now, she merely lied about things. She'd said she'd caught her dress on a basket at the marketplace. Ana felt bad about lying. Perhaps Loki was comfortable with his silver tongue, but Ana wasn't. One day, her mother would know the truth, but for now Ana felt her friend was best kept a secret.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! I really appreciate them. I'm so thankful for your support, and I'll keep writing when I can!**

Ana was sitting in her bed, reading a book by candlelight as she always did before sleeping. She liked candles and found them significantly warmer and more comforting than any electric lighting. She reclined down onto her stomach and read, feet kicking with excitement whenever she'd get to a particularly interesting part of the novel. Her golden hair was plaited rather messily, curls sticking out in places. She wore a thin night-gown that was too large for her due to the fact that her mother gave it to her when she'd grown tired of it, and though Ana had grown since then, she was still quite young and had yet to acquire many "womanly" parts.

She heard a light tap at the window. Her eyes flickered up, but nothing was there. Assuming she'd imagined it, she went back to reading. A moment later, the flame of her candle blew out. Ana sighed and fumbled for a match. Lighting it, she jumped back and let out a short yelp. Loki stood right in front of her.

"You can't just break into someone's house," she said, holding her chest and setting the candle down. "Prince or not."

Loki shrugged, a smile playing at his lips. "I just wanted to say hello."

Ana raised her eyebrows. "You couldn't wait until morning?" She looked down at her nightgown. Had she cared, she might've been embarrassed. "I'm not even dressed!"

"Neither am I," Loki retorted. Ana looked at his clothes. They weren't the same clothes she'd grown accustomed to seeing him wear, but they were still quite nice for casual clothes. She raised her eyebrows and looked at him through lidded eyes. "In comparison," he added sheepishly.

"Why're you here?" she asked, sitting up and putting her book on her nightstand.

Loki eyed the book curiously, before returning his gaze to her. "Thor was in one of his _moods_ again. Father wouldn't let him fight today because he failed his last lesson." Loki looked around the room, and Ana could nearly see his mind reeling with thoughts. She wished for a window or a translator; often times she wondered what he could be thinking about so often and thoroughly. "Anyway, all the noise was making my head ache," he finished, looking back at her.

Ana replied in a hushed tone. "Well you can't _stay_ here."

Loki blinked. His eyes dimmed, and for a moment he almost looked insulted. "Why not?"

Ana shook her head as if it was obvious. "Can you imagine my mother's reaction if she found the prince of Asgard in my bedroom?" She bit back a smile, unwilling to encourage any of his teasing or clever replies, of which he seemed to have an unlimited amount.

Loki took this into consideration before replying. "Well, if I can't stay here, why don't you come with me?"

Ana's eyes widened. "Mother would _kill_ me. She already thinks I wander off enough. If she found out I'd gone after nightfall…."

"She won't," Loki said simply. He smiled, a genuine, warm smile. "Trust me."

Ana hadn't ever trusted him, and part of her—the logical part—told her never to trust him. But something about the look in his eyes made her ignore that logic. Such sincerity had never radiated from him before, and for once, Ana understood. He was lonely.

Besides, a little adventure never hurt, did it?

Loki held out his hand. Together they climbed out the window and ran into the forest. They played games in the moonlight, taking turns playing the hero and the villain, sometimes a mixture of both. One thing was for certain: they never played clichés. Loki never deemed her a damsel-in-distress, and Ana never made him play her knight-in-shining-armour. Half of the game was coming up with new stories and characters.

After that, Loki would come by at night sometimes when he felt the throne room was exceptionally dull. Ana was careful to leave the window open for him; she was also careful to leave no trace of her nighttime adventures save the memories she would savour for years to come.

One night, Loki wandered over to her room right before a storm. It began to rain a torrential downpour, so Ana insisted they stay in her room. The two built a fort and hid underneath it. Loki told her what he knew of the other realms. They exchanged stories all night, waiting for the storm to pass. When the rain stopped, it was nearly daylight.

"You have to go!" Ana said, noting the rising sun. "If Mother sees you…."

"Alright, alright, I'm going," Loki said, raising his slender palms in the air as he began to stand up. "Although I seem to be caught in our castle," he added as the make-shift fort crashed down on him.

He twisted around in the sheets until Ana helped him out. "Quickly," she whispered, pushing him toward the window.

Loki turned around, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Okay, I'll leave. But on one condition."

Ana sighed in frustration. She could swear she heard her mother's footsteps nearing. "Yes, okay!" she agreed stupidly.

"As you say," Loki replied, a grin on his face as he began to climb out the window.

"Wait, what's the condition?" Ana asked skeptically, backtracking.

"Come to the castle after your lesson today. I'll show you the books we have pertaining to the other realms!" Loki's green eyes were brighter than they'd ever been.

Ana's face lit up. She had always wanted to see the books Loki read with her own eyes, but at the same time she was extremely intimidated by the possibility of meeting Thor, or his friends, or even…the king himself. Her smile faded.

"I don't know…" she began.

"Ah, but you already agreed!" Loki said. Ana looked over her shoulder incase her Mother was there; she wasn't. But when Ana looked back, Loki was nowhere to be found.


	9. Chapter 9

Ana didn't know what to do. She couldn't just…walk up to the castle and waltz right in, could she? She looked at her clothes—they were not nearly nice enough to be fit for visiting the second prince of Asgard, but they would have to do for they were all she had. She stared at her sandals as she walked up the steps. The guards did not look at her; they merely stood, holding iron staffs and dressed in armour.

Ana timidly walked up the steps. She peered at the top, and she saw Loki, who was waiting for her with a smug look on his face. She was on his turf now; there was no denying it. She hadn't ever felt out of her element before with him, and this was definitely new.

Loki was wearing a dark green tunic and all the usual accessories that went with his outfit, including his leather boots that she so envied. He took a few steps toward her as she reached the top. He held out his hand, and she took it with a small smile.

"I trust you found it ok?" Loki asked slyly, his lips threatening to give away his hidden smile.

Ana looked at him and stiffened her posture. "Yes," she said, "I wasn't quite sure where to go at first, but as it turns out, walking toward the enormous castle in the distance seemed to work just fine."

Loki flashed a grin, quick but visible. "So how do you like it?" He gestured toward the grandness of the castle. Though they were still on the outside, it was beautiful. Ana looked around, taking in the view. The marble columns were huge; in fact, everything here seemed to be larger than anything she'd seen in her twelve years of living.

Ana shrugged casually. "It's okay," she remarked, though her eyes, wide with wonder, were a dead give-away.

Loki chuckled in response. "Follow me," he said, walking inside. Their footsteps echoed as they walked. "I'll show you around." Ana followed inside, and realized shortly after that they were in the throne room. It was just as she'd imagined it—from what Loki had described. He'd proven to give good description.

"Brother," she heard a voice from behind them. Loki's shoulders slumped slightly, but he quickly squared his shoulders and spun smoothly around on his heel. Ana mirrored his movement, slightly less gracefully, stumbling a bit. A boy around her age stood before her, his hair blonde and slightly ragged. His eyes were bright blue and he was much more built than Loki, who only seemed to grow leaner as time progressed. His shoulders were broad, and he was a bit shorter than Loki.

"Thor," Loki said, his voice cool, expression reserved. "I hadn't knowledge of your return," he continued slowly.

"Sword master dismissed us early," Thor said amiably, looking from Loki to Ana. "Who is your guest?"

"This is—," Loki began, but Ana cut him off.

"I'm Anaximandra," Ana said bravely, holding out her hand. "But you can call me Ana."

Thor took her hand with a smile of his own. "I like her," he declared, returning his gaze to Loki. Ana quirked a brow. She thought Thor friendly, but strange. "Will she stay long? Can she meet the others?"

Loki hesitated and looked at Ana, a hint of apology in his eyes. "I don't—," he began, but Ana cut him off yet again.

"I'd love to meet your friends," Ana said, staring at Loki, a little too harshly. Loki's gaze darkened.

Thor's grin broadened. "Then meet them, you shall!" he exclaimed, taking her hand roughly and guiding her through the castle. Loki followed behind, nearly trotting, but his footsteps remained so silent that it caused Ana to look behind her shoulder to make sure he was still present. He didn't look pleased at all, but he followed just the same.

Thor led them into another room, only slightly less grand than the throne room. Tapestries hung on the walls, along with other artifacts Ana knew little of. Sitting on the marble floor were three boys and a girl, all in the process of removing their armour. They looked up simultaneously as Thor spoke.

"This is Ana," Thor said loudly with an enthusiastic smile. He reminded Ana much of a loveable dog, dirty and friendly. The others looked at Ana blankly.

"Ana," Thor continued, "Meet Fandral, Hogan, Volstagg, and Sif," he gestured to each of them as he said their names.

Ana smiled uneasily. "Pleased to meet you," she said rather smally.

Sif, the girl, spoke up. "How do you know her?" she asked in a rough voice. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and continued removing her armour.

"She's Loki's friend," Thor explained as he walked to join them. Ana stood awkwardly alone until Loki finally stepped up next to her. His presence made her feel slightly more comfortable.

Sif huffed a laugh and looked at Loki. "I didn't know Loki had friends," she said simply.

Ana furrowed her eyebrows. She looked from Sif to Loki. Loki's expression remained smooth and collected, perhaps even amused, as if he was watching a lower breed of human attempt to interact with him.

"Well, he does," Ana said stupidly in his defense.

"Sticks and stones," Loki said in a voice barely above a whisper. Ana doubted it was meant for anyone but her.

"Of course he does," Thor butt in. "We are all his friends." Thor looked at Loki with a grin, but Loki merely stared at him.

"When he so chooses to call us that," Sif countered in a harsh tone, but she looked up to Loki with a sly grin. The corners of Loki's lips twitched. Ana thought the whole interaction rather strange.

"Only when you're lucky," Loki said smoothly, a dark smile on his face. He turned to Ana. "Would you like to see the library?"

Ana smiled. "I'd love to."

"Ah, Loki, always with your head in a book," Thor said dismally. "I wish you would join us on the battle grounds more often." At this, Sif looked up hopefully.

"Perhaps another day," Loki said. He gestured for Ana to follow him, taking a few steps toward the other room.

"He's just scared I'll beat him," Sif said loudly to the others.

Loki only smiled, continuing his path to the library. "As I recall, it was you, Sif, who desired the rematch," he called back as they exited. He looked at Ana with a shrug as the door closed behind them.

"You're a good fighter," Ana said as they walked. "I don't understand why you avoid it."

"It's not my pastime of choice," Loki replied simply.

"Nor," Ana continued, "do I understand why you isolate yourself so. They seemed to like you."

Loki smiled as if remembering some private joke. "They tolerate me." He rounded a corner smoothly, his boots silently skidding across the marble. Ana followed him, her sandals slapping noisily. She tried to quiet her steps, to no avail. She followed him for a bit longer until they reached a huge, circular room. "The library," Loki said, gesturing around him.

Ana's eyes widened. The shelves were filled with books—it was more than she'd ever seen in her life. She could spend years in the library and never finish them all. "Wow," was all she managed to mutter.

Loki walked around casually, flicking books out of their shelves and catching them quite easily in his arms. Ana stared, mystified. When he was done, Loki brought the books to where she stood and sat down. Ana sat with him, and the two poured over the books, talking and arguing about things for what seemed like forever—at least until Ana had to return home.

**Sorry it took so long to update! I'm on a family trip right now so getting Internet was a hassle, as was finding the time to write. However, I think I'll (hopefully) have more time in the days to come. Thanks for the reviews, guys! Hope you like it.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Shut up, Thor," Ana said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder as she all too often did Loki. Thor let out another burst of laughter. Ana bit her lip to keep from smiling.

They were sitting in the courtyard of the castle. Thor was still sweaty from his training, but Ana had gotten used to his perpetual smell—not bad, per say, but he always somehow smelled of outdoors. Ana was waiting for Loki to finish his training, for he had been forced to stay a bit longer than usual due to his lack of attendance on other days when he found reading far more interesting than his training.

Thor and Ana were still laughing when Loki walked up, his expression neutral as usual, although if one looked closely one might've seen the corners of his lips twisted down for a moment. "Ana," he said with a friendly nod.

Ana and Thor's laughter died. "Loki, I was waiting for you," she said. She smiled and stood up, pulling him into a hug. He was stiff, as usual, and tried to wrap an arm around her to pat her back once before she let go. Ana had grown used to his awkwardness when it came to touching. She'd gotten the impression that people tended to stray away from and avoid contact with Loki—he was a loner, as was she, but then at least she was comfortable with giving people hugs. She'd tried to condition him, but had deemed it a lost cause. Awkward greeting hugs would have to suffice.

"Took you long enough," she teased and sat back down next to Thor. She didn't even have to see him to know Loki was rolling his eyes.

"That was not long at all," Thor argued passively. "My brother is a quick one."

Ana sighed. She had yet to teach Loki about human contact, and she hadn't even begun to teach Thor the concept of "sarcasm". Thor's mind was about as brutally honest as one could imagine. Unlike his brother, he had not the ability to lie. Ana sometimes wondered if he even understood the concept of lying.

It was strange, the juxtaposition of the two brothers. Here they were, and yet, they were completely different. Loki with his silver tongue, Thor with his lead one. Even their appearances were nearly opposite. Then again, Thor was now beginning to catch up to Loki, height-wise. However, Loki was still tall and leaner than ever.

That didn't stop him from eating her candy. Ana had learned not to keep candy around Loki. Even if it was hidden, he'd find it, and it'd be gone within seconds. She often wondered how he moved so fast without notice.

"I was being…nevermind," Ana sighed. She'd save lessons in sarcasm for another day. She glanced at Loki who, for once, appeared to be holding back a smile. Turning back to Thor, she addressed him. "So, are you up for a little adventure today?"

"But I thought—," Loki began.

"I know we had plans, but we can't just ditch Thor here," Ana said cheerily. She ruffled Thor's hair and looked at Loki, willing for him to agree. He simply nodded slowly, a slight frown visible in his features.

"I love an adventure," Thor said loudly, a broad smile spreading across his face. "Where are we going, Lady Ana?"

Ana rolled her eyes. "How many times have we talked about this? You don't have to call me 'lady'." She stood up and took Thor's hand, pulling him up with her. Loki was already standing somehow, staring at them both.

"Old habits," Loki murmured.

Ana turned to him. "I've got a place to show you both—a new place," she explained. She took both their hands—Loki's quite grudgingly—and led them down the steps. Thor trotted quickly beside her, his footsteps echoing. Loki's hand was cold and smooth, and before she could notice, he had slipped it from her grasp and was now walking alongside her with a quiet, almost inaudible gait.

"I never know how you do that," Ana said, letting go of Thor's hand.

"Practice," Loki said simply, but his lips curved into a thin smile as if he knew something she did not. He probably did. Ana always assumed so, anyway.

They walked along, talking about various things as Ana led them into the forest. Well, Thor and Ana did most of the talking. Well, actually Thor did most of the storytelling, while Ana added an additional comment here and there, and Loki merely watched them both with almost tangible boredom. Finally, they arrived at the spot Ana had intended.

"Here we are!" Ana said proudly, walking up to the small lake. It was perfect for swimming, and even more perfect considering the hot weather they'd been having to endure.

Loki quirked a brow and looked at the lake with a dull expression. Ana folded her arms, staring at him as if challenging him to say an ill word about her surprise. He looked at her, and they locked eyes in silent battle, neither willing to give up their stance.

Thor, on the other hand, was already shedding down to his undergarments. "This is perfect, Ana!" he exclaimed excitedly, and Ana was forced to break her stare with Loki. She smiled. Thor was easily excited and easily pleased, but he always meant quite well and never failed to put a smile on her face.

"Glad _someone_ likes it," she said, returning her gaze to Loki.

"I never uttered a word against," Loki said casually as he began to shed his heavy clothes. Ana, too, took off her dress, a little self-conscious, but not too much so to stop her from doing so. After all three were in their thinnest layers of clothes, they proceeded to jump in.

"Last one in's a Frost Giant!" Thor called. He jumped first, making a huge splash into the water and laughing as he surfaced.

Ana and Loki exchanged looks, and in the next second, Ana was jumping in. There was no way Loki was beating her at this, at least.

When she surfaced, Loki was already in the water. Ana narrowed her eyes. "How in the nine worlds…" she said slowly, but Thor splashed her in the face before she could finish.

"Hey!" she yelled, splashing back. When the water cleared, Loki was gone. "Where'd he go?" she asked, looking at Thor.

"Who?" Thor asked.

Ana rolled her eyes. "Your _brother_," she clarified. Who else?

Thor grinned. "You'd better be careful, Lady Ana. My brother is very tricky," he said, gazing at the water's smooth surface.

Ana felt something tug at her foot. In the next moment, she was being pulled under water. She kicked until she got back up to the surface. Beside her already, was Loki, his dark hair slicked back and wet, green eyes strikingly bright. He was grinning.

"That wasn't funny!" Ana yelled, smiling in spite of herself. She swam toward him and tried to grab his arm, but he ducked back under the water. Ana dove down, trying to make out his shape in the blurry water. She felt a scrape at her foot—at this, she kicked as hard as she could. After another moment, she resurfaced, finding Loki already there, holding his nose. There was a flash of red; it was a painful contrast to his white skin.

Ana's eyes widened. Had she broken his nose? Her first instinct was to apologize profusely, but then she remembered that this was probably some cosmic payback for all the tricks he'd pulled on her over the years. She closed her mouth and folded her arms. "Serves you right," she said, raising an eyebrow.

Loki glared at her. "I never meant any harm," he said lowly.

Thor had spotted them from a distance. He was climbing the rocky edge on the other side of the small lake. "Are you alright, brother?" he called.

Loki continued to glare at Ana. She sighed. "Fine, I'm sorry," she said. She might as well make amends; she'd rather swallow her pride than have to bicker with Loki for the rest of the day…which she'd probably end up doing anyway.

Loki's frown quickly turned into a grin. "Just fine, actually," he called back to Thor, letting go of his nose and opening his palm to reveal a bright red flower he'd hidden in it.

"You! That was a nasty trick!" she growled, swatting his shoulder, not affectionately in the least. But Loki was laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and Ana couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"I'll get you back for this," Ana vowed, pointing at him and attempting to keep from smiling. Failing horribly, by the way.

Loki watched her, amused. "Oh, I have no doubt you will," he said. "In fact, I'm planning on it." He splashed her playfully again before ducking back under the water. Ana was left to decode his puzzling reply as he tickled her feet underwater. He was manipulating her somehow, she knew it, but she couldn't decide if it was one way or the other. In the end, she figured she'd settle by getting out of the lake early and hiding his clothes or putting them on and making him wear her dress back to the castle.

Loki's thin finger scraped the bottom of her foot yet again. Ana kicked as hard as she could.


	11. Chapter 11

"Shit!" Ana said, lunging for the lamp she had just kicked over. Now, Ana rarely cursed. She didn't have anything personal against it, but she found she rarely needed to except in times of deep trouble. This was one of those times.

Her mother had told her not to break that lamp, and now it was in pieces on the floor. And what explanation could she give? She supposed she would just have to lie and blame it on her clumsiness, which was not entirely false. Ana wasn't the most graceful being. However, she had been practicing high kicks for her training with Loki, which had been going significantly better than when she first started.

Ana stood up and brushed off her dress as she heard her mother's footsteps, preparing herself for the onslaught of trouble she was about to get in.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I'm not any good at this!" Ana huffed, stepping back and wiping sweat from her forehead. They'd been at it for almost an hour and she felt no improvement.

"Don't talk, just do it!" Loki said. He wasn't the most encouraging trainer, but then Ana supposed she didn't have any right to complain. She had asked him to do it, after all, and he was the only teacher she had. No one else would be willing to train a maiden of her non-existent stature.

Loki lunged at her, and Ana ended up on the ground once more. Loki stood straight, waiting for her to get up. When she didn't, he sighed and walked over to her. His neatly composed face had a slight expression of sympathy for a moment. Ana looked up at him. Did he expect her to cry? She wasn't going to cry, but she felt frustrated enough to.

Loki held out his hand and she took it reluctantly, pulling herself up.

"It takes time," Loki assured her, his smooth voice softer than usual.

"Easy for you to say," Ana said bitterly, dusting off her hands. "You're not the one on the ground."

Loki smiled. "No, but I used to be," he said. "Thor is the fighter in our family, not me."

Ana nodded and gave him a slight smile. "I just want to be good enough to play with you guys. I'm tired of watching. All I ever do is watch others and I'm afraid I'll waste my life away."

"Sounds familiar," Loki commented with a slight grin. He stared at her for a moment. "Let's try it again," he said.

Ana sighed and rubbed her face. "Alright," she finally agreed.

Ana made the first move. She lunged for his right side, and he easily dodged her. She could now understand how Thor got so frustrated when fighting Loki sometimes. He probably wouldn't be hard to fight at all, but catching him was another story. Loki was behind her now; how, she had no idea, but she'd started getting used to not knowing. Instead of spinning around as she usually did, she stuck her heel back. Loki caught it and began to turn it, causing her to lose her balance. Instead of resisting, Ana spun with it and grabbed his arm. Loki slipped from her grip almost immediately. Ana fake-lunged to his right and he dodged her, but instead she grabbed to the right, and Loki ended up in her grip. Ana pulled him down to the ground and found herself on top of him. They both panted, and sweat dripped from Ana's brow. Loki's green eyes were wider than she'd ever seen them.

"Well played," he said, gaining composure. A smile slowly spread across his face.

Ana was as surprised as he was. She grinned and began to laugh. "Well taught," she replied. She put a hand on his chest and was surprised by how solid it was. They were both grinning; she lingered for a moment before getting off of his chest and standing up.

He stood with her, brushing off his pants. Ana watched him, unable to wipe the grin from her face. "Don't get too sure of yourself," Loki said, a smile playing at his lips. "I let you have that one."

"Uh huh," Ana said, stifling a laugh. She wasn't stupid; she knew Loki was far beyond her with his stealthy ways. However, the fact that she didn't fall on her arse for once made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she was getting somewhere.

Loki was staring at her with an unreadable expression. She held her hand out, and he took it. "Let's go back," she said. "I can kick your arse more tomorrow."

Loki's laugh was the loudest she'd heard it in a long time.

**Thanks for the reviews! Hopefully we'll get some more serious scenes ahead, but also some more fun stuff. And more Thor or Sif, maybe? I don't know yet, but we'll see!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello again! So for those of you asking, I'm thinking now she's around the 14-15 age range? I try not to get too specific, but there is a progression of time. Ana and Loki have known each other for a while now, and they know each other fairly well. Anyway, moving on to more writing! Enjoy.**

It was a particularly sunny day, but it didn't feel like it. Usually, these days made Ana feel much warmer—happier, even—on the inside. But then, she supposed, nothing could quite make her feel better after an argument with her mother.

They'd had the argument thousands of times. It'd become a daily event for them, but somehow it always seemed to upset her. Ana was close with her mother—perhaps not as close as she was with her father, but close enough. They quarreled just as any other mother and daughter might, and Ana didn't mind it. She did, however, mind when her mother dismissed her aspirations.

She didn't bring them up anymore. Her mother knew well enough that Ana did not desire to become an average Asgardian maiden. But the point was moot, and arguing was of no use. However, that wasn't to say they didn't argue.

In any case, Ana wanted to be alone. So she fled to her safe haven—the one place she knew without a doubt no one could find her. Except Loki, of course. But they hadn't made plans to meet that day, so she assumed she'd be alone.

Ana was sitting in the middle of the meadow, legs spread in a straddle. She was picking at the grass rather adamantly. Tears ran down her face. She never cried. She promised herself she wouldn't cry. Yet, here she was, crying. She hated herself for it.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, soft, but firm.

"Go away," she sniffed, wiping quickly at her eyes but keeping her face tilted down. She did not want anyone to see her like this, much less Loki.

Loki sighed and sat down next to her—exactly the reverse of what she'd asked. Of course she should've expected it, but she had hoped maybe this once he would listen to her. Instead, he began to pick at the grass along with her, silent.

After composing herself for the most part, she looked up at him. "What are you doing?"

Loki was quiet for a while. Finally, he replied: "Same as you, I suppose."

Ana tried to suppress a smile. They'd had this conversation before, back when they first met. "And what exactly is it that I'm doing here?"

Loki smiled coyly, eyes still on the grass. He looked up at her, and Ana was taken aback. For all the time she'd known him, he rarely expressed emotion. But here he was, sitting right in front of her, with the rawest look of compassion on his face. A soft smile settled there, and his green eyes were gentle—kind. "I dunno," he said quietly, "what _are_ you doing here?"

Ana smiled and looked back down at the ground, sniffing again. "Running away."

"Ah," Loki said. "My specialty."

Ana looked up at him. He blinked back at her expectantly. The kind expression, for the most part, had erased from his face, but there were still some traces of it in his eyes. Ana sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. "I guess I just need to sulk every once in a while," she shrugged.

"Everyone does," Loki said casually. He went back to picking at the grass. Ana was thankful he didn't ask what was wrong. It was nice not to have to talk about the issue, and truth be told, they'd already had the conversation. Ana and Loki had talked about Ana's mother many times over the time they'd known each other, and Loki knew quite well that when Ana was upset, it was most always because of her mother.

Loki's response had always been the same: _Do what you want, and if she asks, lie to appease her_. However, Ana didn't feel as comfortable with lying as Loki did. But she'd been doing it more and more as of late.

Ana sighed and pulled her hair over her shoulder, unwinding it from its braid. "How do you do it?" she asked.

Loki didn't look up; he was still picking the grass. "Do what?" A muscle in the hollow of his white throat fluttered.

"Live up to everyone's expectations," she said.

Loki let out an audible laugh, but it was cruel, not humourous. "You're asking the wrong person, Ana. If anything, I do the exact opposite."

Ana furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Loki said, turning to face her. His expression was carefully composed, but if she looked hard enough she could see through his mask. "I'm the…black sheep of the family, so to say. It's always _Thor_ this and _Thor_ that. I can't seem to live up to anything; I am always compared to him and come out lesser for my efforts." He finished his sentence with a particularly spiteful edge. Ana frowned.

"I don't think that's true at all," she said quietly. "You and Thor both have good qualities…they're just different." She pursed her lips, thinking, before she reached out to cup her small hand under Loki's cheek. His skin was cold but smooth and soft; his jaw was the only sharp edge. She looked into his eyes before saying: "And for the record, I think you'd make a fine king."

Loki swallowed and looked down. Ana let go of his cheek and shrugged. "If it means anything, coming from me," she laughed. She was but a lowly Asgardian commoner, and she doubted her words meant anything to him.

"It means everything," Loki said under his breath, so low that the words were nearly inaudible.

Ana would never hear the words herself.


	13. Chapter 13

Ana had grown accustomed to waiting in the castle, but it was still a monotonous task. Each day when she decided to visit, she somehow arrived at the most inopportune times, most of which were when Thor and Loki were in mandatory training sessions. Well, mandatory to Loki, anyway. Thor seemed to rather enjoy them. Loki, on the other hand, liked nothing more than for them to be over.

On this particular day, Ana was waiting outside by a nice garden, looking at the flowers. She could see the boys training from where she was, and she longed to be out there with them. Not like Sif, of course. Ana was not, and had no intentions of being a strong warrior. But as much as she wanted to deny it, sometimes it looked like fun, and she couldn't help but feel left out.

On the field, Thor was sparring with Sif. Loki stood on the edge of the arena, watching them with his half-concerned, half-exasperated expression. Or at least that's what Ana imagined it to be, though they were too far away for her to actually tell. Ana looked around; no one was in the immediate vicinity. So she snuck down to the training grounds and watched from behind a particularly shady tree.

Sif moved with such accuracy and power; Ana knew she was far too dainty to replicate any of Sif's moves. The best she could ever hope for was to replicate Loki's swift agility. She watched Thor and Sif spar for a while, slamming one another into the ground repeatedly with such brutality it made Ana cringe. But when Sif finally pinned Thor on the ground, they were laughing.

Loki stood still, arms folded across his chest, watching them. For a moment, Ana thought he might've looked at her, but she was sure she was too far away and well-hidden to be seen.

"You owe me a sparring, Loki!" Sif said, rising from Thor's chest and turning to face him. Ana watched with interest as Loki took a calculated step into the arena.

"I thought perhaps you would like to keep your winning streak unbroken, Lady Sif," Loki said with a muted smile. Sif laughed in return and gestured him into the arena.

"I fully intend to," Sif answered. They began to circle each other as Thor ducked out of the arena, turning to watch.

The fight began before Ana knew what was happening. Sif lunged for Loki and he dodged her, as usual. But it soon became apparent how familiar one another was with their fighting techniques, because both were dodging and hitting each other as if it was a routine. Thor and Sif's fight was just that—a fight. But Sif and Loki's fight much more resembled an elaborate dance than anything else.

At last Loki tripped Sif and she fell onto the ground. However, in her fall, she had grabbed Loki's arm and he tumbled down with her. She lifted a powerful leg over him and turned on top of him. Loki appeared to be pinned underneath, but as soon as Sif moved again Loki was somehow behind her, pinning her to the ground. Sif breathed heavily, a smile on her face.

"Did you enjoy it?" a voice came from behind Ana, and she jumped. Spinning around, she found herself looking at Loki. Ana turned back to the arena and saw he was no longer there.

"But you—," Ana stammered, pointing from the arena to his chest and giving up. She'd seen him do tricks before, but nothing of this caliber.

Loki only smiled in return, eyes bright and a little mischievous. "Would you like to join us?" Loki asked, offering his hand.

Ana hesitated. "Sure," she said, placing her hand in his. His hand was cold, but his long fingers wrapped around hers perfectly. He walked her over to the arena, where Thor and Sif were arguing about some technique. Thor smiled when he saw Ana. Sif turned and merely stared. She and Ana hadn't quite become friends. They didn't hate each other, but truthfully, neither knew much about the other. And frankly, Ana found herself intimidated by Sif's abilities.

Sif looked down at Loki and Ana's linked hands. At this, Loki slipped his hand from Ana's grasp. Ana suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Hi," Ana breathed. Thor immediately pulled her into a bear hug as he exclaimed her name. Ana had no choice but to respond, so she did, but with slightly less enthusiasm than usual.

"Visitors aren't allowed on the training grounds," Sif said. Her tone wasn't hostile, merely factual, but Ana took it as such.

Ana's eyes narrowed. "Well maybe I'm not a visitor," Ana said, sticking out her chin in response.

"Then why are you here?" Sif asked, stepping forward. Her eyes narrowed as well, and she placed her hands on her hips. Ana mentally noted how much taller Sif was.

"To practice," Ana said, holding her ground. At this point, Thor and Loki were merely staring.

Sif's lips curved into a smile. "In that?" she asked, pointing at Ana's attire. "I'd spar with you, but I wouldn't want to get your dress dirty." Her voice was clipped with an edge that made Ana's insides bristle.

"Actually, I was going to borrow Loki's armour," she insisted, looking at Loki now. His green eyes were slightly wider than usual, but he somehow maintained a cool, uninterested expression. Without further question, he handed over a piece of his armour.

Before Ana's brain had time to catch up to her actions, Ana was with Sif in the arena. They circled each other, and Sif made the first move. She lunged to Ana's left, and Ana side-stepped her easily. Sif caught her foot, however, and made her nearly trip. Ana's head flooded with panic—what was she doing? She hadn't had extensive training or natural ability like Sif! She was hardly good at what Loki had taught her. She couldn't do it.

Sif was walking toward Ana with a victorious air. Ana was scrambling onto her knees, contemplating giving up, when she saw Loki staring at her. One word repeated in her head: _confidence_. Ana's gaze hardened on Sif. She pushed herself up, and the two began their dance.

And Ana was dodging like she'd known it her whole life. Once she got the hang of it, it was quite easy, especially with Ana's small and nimble body. It was all about timing, really. From the corner of her eye, she saw Loki smiling wider than she'd ever seen him smile before.

Finally, Sif took Ana down, but when she did, she stood and offered Ana a hand. Ana took it and pulled herself up. "I underestimated you," Sif said with a smile.

"Yes, you did," Ana agreed harshly, but then returned Sif's smile.

Ana ran over to Loki and tackled him with a hug. He responded with more enthusiasm than usual, actually hugging her back for once. "Congratulations," he murmured in his silky voice.

"Ana moves as fast as my brother!" Thor's voice boomed across the arena. "Perhaps even faster!"

"I wouldn't go as far as to say that," Loki said with a coy smile, "but I am impressed," he added. Ana grinned.

"You should spar with us more often, Ana," Thor said, putting his arm around her as they walked back to the palace.

"Yes, you have potential," Sif agreed, falling into their step and walking with them.

Ana merely laughed as if she thought the idea itself was simply unthinkable, but secretly she took their words into consideration, thinking of all the fun she could have. As if confirming this, Thor began to talk about the things they should practice and when she should come. Thor's arm was heavy around her as they walked, but Ana didn't mind it. It made her feel comfortable and protected. Loki walked a step behind them all the way to the castle, not saying a word.


	14. Chapter 14

It was a very, _very_ hot day in Asgard.

That being said, Ana thought it the perfect day to visit her meadow. As she gazed up at the sun, she regretted not making plans with Loki or Thor—today would've been the perfect day to go for a swim in their favourite spot. But alas, as far as Ana knew, the two princes were at their own lessons. Lessons…where Ana should've been. Where Ana _wasn't_. No doubt her mother would hear about her absence, but Ana rarely skipped out on them anymore, and if she was going to at all, today seemed the perfect occasion. When the time came to break for lunch, Ana headed off toward her meadow.

She wasn't a bad student. In fact, Ana was among the brighter of the pupils. She may have even been the top of her class if she weren't so invested in her daydreaming. Ana liked her lessons well enough, but she felt them confining. She wished that her teachers would allow them more freedom and creativity in their otherwise dull tasks. After all, they were now nearing sixteen years of age, a fairly mature age, in her eyes.

Ana hopped through the forest in her white dress and leather-bound sandals, carrying a few books under her arm. It had been a while since she'd really been alone in the meadow. She didn't mind Loki's company, in fact, she welcomed it, but today would be a nice break. The last time she'd even considered going to the meadow alone had been when she was upset by her mother, and even then, Loki had miraculously appeared.

The meadow was bright with sun—beautiful, really. Ana slid off her sandals and let her feet slide into the cool stream. Sweat rolled down her face and she attempted to fan herself. She decided to ignore the heat and read a book instead. Burying her face in the pages, she sighed. The sun was becoming unbearable. Soon, her entire body was coated in a thin layer of sweat.

Well, there was no one around, anyway, and the stream was deep enough for Ana to at least wade in. She didn't want to get her dress wet, so she merely took it off. It was invigorating, being bare in the forest. Ana wondered if this is how it was at some distant time in the past. Did people really walk around freely like this? It seemed very relaxing. She slid into the stream and rinsed her body with water, feeling its coolness.

A rustle in the bushes.

Ana spun around and blinked, covering her chest and sinking into the water, alarmed. She didn't have to look far. In the middle of the meadow stood a tall, thin, and _very_ pale Loki, holding a few heavy books to his chest. Very pale, indeed—except for the bright red spots on his cheeks.

Ana felt her face grow very heated. "Were you _spying_ on me?" Ana said incredulously.

Loki's eyes only widened. He began to frantically shake his head. His mouth opened as if trying to say something, but Ana cut him off.

"You—turn _around_!" Ana shouted. Loki spun around obediently, dropping all of his books. Ana rose from the stream and hastily dressed herself.

"I wasn't _spying_," Loki stammered out. It might've been funny to hear the Silvertongue fumble his words if the situation wasn't so embarrassing for Ana. Ana marched around him to face him. He looked absolutely distraught. "Honestly, I didn't know," Loki said, expression full of apology and alarm.

Ana swatted him with one of her shoes. "Well you didn't seem to mind _staring_ at me!" she said, face still red. She continued to hit him with her shoe as he flinched, muttering apologies.

"I—Ana! I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_! It won't happen again!" he said as she continued to swat him.

Ana stopped and folded her arms. "It better not." She watched him with a mildly annoyed expression, eyes narrowing until she could no longer keep a smile from spreading across her face. She stepped back and wrung out her wet hair, chuckling to herself as Loki watched her curiously.

"You should've seen your face," she said with a grin. She would never forget the time she rendered Loki Odinson, the prince with the silver tongue, incapable of speech.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"What did I say? Those are for _Thor_." Ana swatted Loki's hand away from the plate of treats she was holding as they walked through the palace halls.

"Yes, yes, always _Thor_," Loki muttered, a scowl at his lips. He walked with his eyes straight ahead and his hands linked tightly behind his back.

"You've eaten them before!" Ana protested. "Besides, I promised him a whole plateful, and you _know_ Thor. He'll know if you've eaten any." She gave Loki a smile, to which he responded with a look that conveyed his utter annoyance at the situation.

"Now be a good prince and open the door for me," she said, nodding toward the door to Thor's room. Loki held her gaze for a moment, but opened the door as she asked.

"Ana!" Thor's voice boomed from inside the room. "And my dear brother! Come in, both of you!" Ana stepped inside the room. It _was_, essentially, Thor. Every decoration, every gadget, every sword on the wall or tapestry had a Thor-like quality about it. Ana couldn't explain it, but she smiled upon entering the room.

Loki kept a safe step behind her, quiet as ever.

Thor enveloped her in a hug, and Ana tried to keep the plate steady. "I brought these for you, like I promised!" she said cheerily. Thor's eyes widened, as if she'd brought him gold, which, truth be told, she may as well have.

"You, my lady, are perfection embodied," he said, taking the plate and kissing her hand. Loki made an odd sound, somewhere between a gag and a cough, but it went unheard by the other two.

Ana laughed. "Maybe you should _try_ them first, before you go praising me," she said. Thor raised his eyebrows and took a bite of the pastry. He closed his eyes and smiled widely, a very _Thor_ smile. It was the little things such as these that made him so endearing. Ana smiled in return—his grin was somehow contagious. Thor could make just about anyone smile, with the exception of Loki.

"It's _amazing_, and so are you!" Thor said. He picked Ana up by the waist—which was no feat, these days, as the boys were growing ever larger and Ana seemed to not grow at all—and spun her around.

"Don't _do_ that!" Ana laughed as he set her down. To be quite honest, she loved it, but she'd never admit to it. It made her feel objectified, somehow.

"Apologies," Thor said. "My excitement gets the better of me." He stuffed another pastry in his mouth, chewing.

"Among other things," Loki commented snidely. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest, watching the pair of them with lidded eyes.

Ana snorted. "Loki's just mad because I told him he couldn't have any."

"Yes, I am ever-so consumed with envy over the pastries," Loki said, voice brimming with sarcasm and bitterness.

Thor grinned. "Perhaps next time, brother. But this plate is mine." He stuffed yet another pastry in his mouth. Ana tried to stop him, warning him he could get a stomach ache, but Thor contended that no stomach ache had ever plagued him before, to which Loki made another snide comment about "the mighty Thor". After a while, Loki left the room and ventured to the library to read-up on his magic. Ana stayed in Thor's room until dusk, then left for home.

She ventured to the library in attempts to say goodbye to Loki before she left. Loki, however, decided to practice the art of invisibility, hiding in the shadows until Ana gave up and went home without saying goodbye.

**Hope you liked the chapter XD Heh, jealous Loki. Hopefully I'll be getting into the complexities of their oh-so-complicated relationship soon. Thanks for the reviews!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello again! Short chapter this time, sorry. But I kind of wanted to end it where it ends…if that makes sense. Although, I **_**do**_** want to do an ice-skating scene, so that might possibly make it into the next chapter. We'll see! Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and reading!**

It was a cold winter's day, and Thor had promised to take her ice-skating on the lake behind the castle.

Ana was early, by chance. She'd been let out of her lesson early on the occasion that it had begun to snow. Ana ran directly to the castle—she'd gotten used to the route and could make it there by foot in under ten minutes if she ran. Her peers of course by now had taken note that she had befriended the princes. Questions had arose as well as suspicion, but in the end the townsfolk merely accepted it, and perhaps treated Ana and her mother a little better for it.

Her mother was a completely different subject. After many attempts at the truth, Ana had given up. Finally, one day, Ana had brought Loki back home with her. It hadn't been her idea entirely. In fact, she'd been against it. But Loki had a way of manipulating people, and in the end, Ana had agreed to it, as long as Loki didn't pull any tricks on her mother. He swore that he wouldn't (or rather, said "I'd never!" in an overly incredulous tone), and Ana held him to it.

The look of surprise on her mother's face was priceless. Since then, she and Ana had gotten along significantly better. Loki came to her house more often and served as a buffer between the two, often inciting clever conversations. In fact, Ana's mother had taken quite a liking to Loki, who somehow had a gift for interacting with others. Of course, this gift was also his curse: Loki knew how to manipulate people into either liking or hating him, but he knew not how to actual befriend many, and therein lied his loneliness.

Ana ran up the steps of the castle so fast she nearly slid across them. She'd forgotten how slippery they got during the winter. She ran into the hall and made herself slow down; she was no longer a child and she was expected to act like a "lady"—whatever that meant. Slowing herself, she attempted to walk elegantly across the marble floors in her slippery boots, which only made her look more comical. "Thor?" she called out. Her voice echoed around her, but no one answered.

She considered calling for Loki, but decided against it. Lately, he'd been snubbing her. They still saw each other, but hardly as often, and Ana had decided that they were having a fight, although the reasons for which were unclear. Ana only knew that he treated her with such disdain, that she felt forced to treat him so back. Thus, she had turned to Thor as a friend, spending time with him when Loki was acting particularly rude.

Ana didn't mind his games; she'd gotten used to them—liked them, even. His games and tricks were what made him _Loki_. However, this newfound unkindness he showed was something Ana did _not_ like at all.

Ana wondered through the halls quietly, listening for Thor's usual booming voice. When she neared a corner, she turned, hearing hushed tones from behind a curtain. She took a few steps, but stopped—the conversation was obviously not meant to be overheard. However, Ana's curiosity bested her and she remained within earshot, straining her ears to listen.

"…already! You can't have _everything_," Loki said. His voice was strained in a tone Ana had never heard before—pleading, almost.

"Brother, I know not of which you talk!" Thor said defensively. "And I will not sacrifice my friendships on the basis of your delusional notions."

"_Delusional notions?"_ Loki hissed. "Thor it is painstakingly obvious!" His voice tapered at the end and when he spoke again, it was much quieter. "Brother please…I am asking this one thing of you. I have lived in your shadow my entire life and never complained. Please, just grant me this request."

"What, exactly, is your request?" Thor asked. "That I shut myself away when she comes round?" Thor huffed a breath. "She is my friend; I will not do that to her."

Ana backed away as she heard Thor's footsteps, but he had left out the other side of the room. Loki stood alone, and Ana could barely see his silhouette in the shadows. After a long pause of silence, he spoke to the empty room.

"_Then what of me?"_


	16. Chapter 16

Ana had decided it was best not to dwell on the conversation she had overheard.

She couldn't believe it was about her. Not that it was unbelievable, but she refused to go that far. First, she was not exactly one to flatter herself. The princes of Asgard fighting over her? That was too much for her to bear. Of course it had come to her mind that perhaps the conversation was about her, but she refused to acknowledge such ludicrous theories until she had hard proof.

Either way, it didn't mean anything. Neither had confirmed that they had feelings for her, or whatever person they were talking about. Ana had only overheard the tail-end of the conversation, and she shied away from assuming such details…but if it _was_ about her, then why? Why would Loki want Thor to stop seeing her? They were all friends—Thor and Loki were closer to each other than any of the others (though Loki would probably deny this to anyone who assumed it). The only possible conclusion Ana could come to would be jealousy…but people were only jealous when love and faithfulness was in question. Since faithfulness had little relevance in the equation, that left only love. And Ana would be the last person to assume _anyone_ loved her. She was not presumptuous in nature. Besides, even if Loki _did_ love her more than a friend, Ana did not see the problem. Thor was her friend, just as Loki was, and neither could take the others' place.

Thor was fun to be around; he was a great friend. But Loki was the person who truly _knew_ her heart, and Thor would never know that side of her.

In any case, she couldn't erase the conversation from her mind no matter how she tried. She fidgeted on one of the large couches in the throne room until Thor walked in. He smiled in greeting, and she smiled shakily back, trying to ignore whatever had happened.

"Apologies, Lady Ana," he said, kissing her hand as he always did upon greeting. "I was having a rather tense discussion with my brother. It seems he will not be joining us today." If Thor had one quality that was both a blessing and a curse, it was most definitely his honesty.

Ana's cheeks reddened a tinge. "Pity," was all she could muster. She took a breath, composing herself. "Well, we'll have fun with out him. Shall we?" She offered her hand, and Thor took it happily, leading her outside to the frozen lake. From out of nowhere, he produced two pairs of skates—upon investigation, Ana had realized he'd hidden them in his enormous winter coat, but for a moment she was sure he'd taken up Loki's magic.

"So how do I do this?" Ana asked, attempting to walk onto the ice without falling. Her feet slid around clumsily and she gripped Thor's shoulders with a forceful clench, willing herself not to fall. Thor was steady as a rock, easily gliding along the ice.

"You're doing it," he laughed. He began to skate backwards, and Ana clung to him.

"No, that's you! Stop moving!" Ana said, trying desperately to keep herself upright. Thor merely beamed at her, and Ana couldn't help but smile when she saw his ridiculous face.

"As you wish, Lady Ana," Thor said, coming to a halt. Ana smashed into him, catching him off-guard, and causing them both to fall. Thor fell backwards, and Ana was grateful enough to land on his chest—though upon impact, she found it wasn't much softer than the ice itself.

All was silent for a moment. Then, Thor burst out in laughter, and Ana couldn't help but follow suit. She grinned and pushed herself up, looking down at him. Her long hair trailed down to his face.

For a moment she was reminded of falling onto Loki when they sparred, only this time it felt very different. More…_comfortable_.

Ana shrugged these thoughts away; she did not want to interpret their meaning. "Idiot," she teased, pushing herself off of Thor and attempting to stand up. Thor stood up easily and pulled her up. She linked her arm in his and they began to skate. "Don't you dare let go of me," Ana warned. Thor only smiled.

After a few minutes of silence, Ana spoke. "Is Loki angry with me?" she asked, looking up at Thor.

Thor sighed. "Loki is always angry," Thor said. "He feels his life is unjust, somehow. If he directs any of his anger at you, I'm sure he does not mean to."

Ana sighed. She highly doubted Thor was right. Loki had intentions behind every action. All of his notions were expertly pre-conceived. For some reason, being out on the ice with Thor made Ana feel like she was betraying Loki. However, at the same time, it felt good to know she was having fun when he wasn't.

She mentally scolded herself. No matter how he was acting, Loki was her _friend_. He deserved better than this; she shouldn't taunt him. "It's cold," Ana said. "Let's go inside." Thor nodded and led her off the ice. Ana took the skates off and followed him back up to the castle.

Ana thought about going to Loki that night and demanding to know why he was acting like a child, but something stopped her. She was afraid, and she didn't know why. She certainly didn't want to lose him, but something made her feel that if she went to talk to him, things between them might become more complicated. Ana didn't want that to happen. She liked things the way they were—she and Loki, best friends, them against the world. So she left the castle and went back home, putting Loki to the back of her mind and trying not to think too much about him or the overheard conversation.

Even if she had ventured through the castle to talk to him, she wouldn't have found him. Loki was in one of his favourite hiding places—a small room near the top of the castle. It had a little window that perfectly overlooked the grounds…including the icy lake Thor and Ana had skated on that night.

**I'm not trying to draw it out, I promise! I know (or I'm assuming) you all want them to get together, but I shan't rush it. Loki is complicated, and Ana is scared. There's bound to be conflict before there can be resolution, folks! Anyway, more to come! Stay tuned. Haha. And thanks for the reviews!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Another chapter, yay! Ok, just so you all know, I'm visiting a friend for a few days so I don't know when I'll next update but I'll definitely try! Either way, it shouldn't be **_**too**_** long. Also, for those of you asking, I'm thinking they're around 16/17ish, age-wise? Anyway, enjoy, and thanks for the wonderful reviews! You're all amazing for sticking with me thus far.**

"Mother, where are my books?" Ana walked around the small bedroom, trampling over her schoolwork and looking under her bed.

Her mother appeared in the doorway. "Oh, those old things? I threw them out."

Ana looked up, eyes wide and wild. "You—_what?_"

Ana's mother rolled her eyes. "Anaximandra. You're a young lady now; there is no need to preoccupy your time with childish fantasies. You should spend more time with other girls your age…or finding a suitor." She smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress and folded her arms, looking at Ana expectantly.

Ana stood up, balling her fists at her sides. "What if I don't _want_ a suitor?"

Ana's mother laughed. "Of course you'll have a suitor, dear. How else do you expect to survive as a maiden in Asgard? You may be friends with the princes, but that does not make you royalty. How is Thor, by the way?"

Ana narrowed her eyes. "Is that what you think?" She breathed out, forcing herself to keep her tone even. "Just because you're uncomfortable with your independence doesn't mean I am. Should I find a man, wonderful, but if I do not, I don't intend to force myself into a marriage on the basis of money!"

It went on like this for a long while until Ana stormed out of the house in tears. She didn't bother to put boots or a coat on, but it was snowing. She thought about going to the meadow, but she knew it was far too long of a journey without shoes. She went to the only other home she knew—the castle.

Ana ran up the steps, tears streaming down her face, shivering. Upon entering the castle, she saw Loki at the far end of the room.

His eyes flickered to her casually and he didn't move from his seat. "Shall I go fetch Thor?" he said, voice icy.

Ana held her arms tight around herself. No, he shouldn't get Thor. Loki was the only person she needed right now. Thor couldn't understand—not like Loki could. She felt bad for leaning on Loki, but she didn't have anyone else. She'd be happy to return the favour, but Loki never opened himself up enough to actually need a shoulder to lean on. When Loki's harsh words registered in Ana's mind, she crumpled to the floor in a heap of sobs, covering her face.

She hated herself for being so weak.

She heard fast footsteps and in the next moment she felt Loki's arms around her, cold as always but certainly much warmer than the climate outside. "Ana," he murmured. "What's wrong?"

Ana could only shake her head through the sobs. She couldn't even bear to look at him. "You're freezing," she heard him whisper softly. It was weird, hearing Loki like this. He'd never acted like this. Before she knew it, she was being scooped up quite easily and carried to the other room, where a warm fire burned bright. When Loki sat down on a chair near the fire, she didn't let go. On the contrary, she gripped him harder, burying her face in his chest and holding him.

For the first time, she realized she couldn't let go of him.

After a while, she was able to calm herself down. When she looked up at him, he was gazing into the fire, green eyes shining in the dim glow. His collar rose high along his neck and the hollow of his throat. Even in the warm glow of the fire, his skin was very pale. His expression was unreadable, but he was stroking her back gently, rubbing circles with his thumbs on her shoulders. He glanced down to meet her stare, but his expression didn't change. They were both silent, and Ana shifted uncomfortably, suddenly realizing it was _too_ hot. She felt her cheeks burn red and she lowered her head, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and looking away.

"Are you alright?" she heard him say quietly.

Ana hesitated. Was she alright? She didn't know. It wasn't the end of the world; mothers and daughters had their quarrels and she knew this. But it was the fact that she didn't have anyone else to turn to in her household that made things so unbearable. Her mother was bound to be betrothed to another man soon, and Ana was hopeful that might distract her. But still…it was times such as these when Ana missed her father most.

Not to mention the fact that it felt so _right_ to be in Loki's arms. Ana didn't know what to make of it; all she knew was that all the pressure she'd been feeling was suddenly gone when she was with Loki. She hated being angry with him and ignoring him. In retrospect, it was all rather silly.

Then there was Thor to consider. Thor was her _friend_, and even if Loki meant the world to her, she couldn't deny she cared for Thor. However, Thor's friendship with her seemed to anger Loki, and from what Ana could make of it, she couldn't have both of the princes as friends.

They couldn't expect her to choose, could they? The thought was ludicrous. Ana loved them both, and she'd known them both for years. She missed the days when they were all good friends…but then, she thought, did those days ever really exist, or had it always been this way without her noticing?

Ana frowned. She looked up at Loki, searching his eyes for something, but she wasn't sure of what. "I'll be alright," she said with a faint smile. Loki nodded, as if taking a serious note of her answer, then returned his gaze to the fire.

Ana felt his arms start to slip from their grip around her. In response, she held him tighter, curling into his chest and looking up at him. "Loki?" she asked.

He looked down at her. "Yes?"

"Don't ever let go."

He tightened his grip around her. Ana closed her eyes, and when she opened them again it was morning. Loki was asleep with his head gently leaning against the side of the chair, hair slightly tousled…peaceful and relaxed—except for his arms, which were still tight around Ana.


	18. Chapter 18

Weeks passed, and neither Ana nor Loki spoke of that winter evening. Ana saw no reason to bring it up, but she noticed that their relationship had somehow changed because of it. They both acted more formal toward each other, which Ana found exceedingly strange, as she'd known Loki practically her whole life. But it was a step up from not speaking to him at all, so she figured it was the best she could hope for.

Ana visited her meadow often in hopes that she would find him there and things would be like old times, but he was never there. She longed for the days when they spoke about everything from fiction to reality. Ana found herself very lonely. She'd forgotten what it was like to not have anyone to confide in.

As a result, she began to spend more time with Thor. Thor was different from Loki. Ana never felt comfortable confiding in him more than she would any other person, but he did make her feel much lighter and distant from her problems. If Loki was a confidant, then Thor was an escape from her dreadful reality.

Loki would smile appropriately whenever Ana exchanged words with him, but other than that, he did not go out of his way to converse with her. When Ana was practicing with Thor or Sif on the training grounds, she sometimes saw him practicing his magic in the distance. She thought about going over to him, but never did.

The worst part was that she couldn't _hate_ him for it. Neither of them had done anything wrong. Their relationship was merely at an impasse, and neither was willing to take the next step. Even though Ana knew she shouldn't, she resented him for it. She sometimes dreamt of his arms around her, and this startled her. She couldn't seem to separate her feelings out for him in order to interpret, so she did the only thing she knew: ignored them.

On a sunny spring day, she ventured to the castle after her lessons. The lake in the back of the castle had long since melted, and she'd promised Thor she would go swimming with him. When she walked up the steps, she found Loki sitting in the shade, his slender fingers between the pages of an old book. Ana smiled fondly at the memory of him doing so in the meadow.

When she approached him, he didn't look up. "Hello, Loki," she said twisting her foot a bit and looking down at him.

"Hello," he said pleasantly. He placed a finger carefully in the book and looked up at her expectantly.

Ana smiled hopefully, raising her eyebrows but not knowing what to say in response. The corners of Loki's lips twitched as they often did when he _was_ happy, not just pretending to be. He looked back down and allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he continued to read. "What is your business at the castle today?"

Ana blinked. "Oh. I'm going swimming with Thor."

Loki's expression didn't change, but his jawline became more prominent. "Of course," he agreed casually, keeping his eyes down.

Ana hesitated. "Would you care to join us?"

Loki looked up, arching an eyebrow. He smiled, but it was no longer a friendly smile. Ana nearly flinched in response. "I wouldn't want to impose. But thank you for the invitation."

Ana frowned. "You wouldn't be imposing," she mumbled awkwardly.

Loki carefully closed his book and returned his gaze to her, hunching forward a bit. "Oh, I think we both know I would," he murmured lowly. His eyes lingered on her face for a moment.

"Ana!" Thor's voice boomed down the hallway.

Startled, Ana looked in Thor's direction. When she returned her eyes to Loki, he was gone. She sighed and crossed her arms, staring at the spot he'd been in. "I wish you wouldn't push me away," she whispered before continuing up the steps. Little did she know that although Loki had mastered the art of teleporting, he much preferred the magic of invisibility.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Hey!" Ana shouted when Thor splashed her in the face. The lake was cool and refreshing—perfect for the day's weather. She grinned and splashed Thor back.

"Have you ever water wrestled, Lady Ana?" Thor asked.

Ana shook her head. Thor taught her; it was nearly the same thing as sparring on land, but in the water. She was surprised they hadn't done it before, in all the times they'd swam together. Then again, it was more of a two-person game, and they usually swam with the Sif and the Warriors Three, or Loki. Ana laughed when Thor brushed under her stomach—she was very ticklish. Thor took advantage of this and used it to put her in a hold that she couldn't get out of. She finally managed to wiggle free and jumped on top of him, pushing him under the water. Unfortunately, her petite frame did nothing to help sink the mighty Thor, and Thor more or less ended up floating with Ana sitting on top of his chest.

"You put up a valiant effort," Thor laughed.

Ana frowned and pushed his shoulders. "Floating is cheating."

Thor laughed again. "Since when?"

"Since…now," Ana said shrugging. She stared at him in mock contempt. Thor stared back. This continued for about half a second longer before Thor kissed her.

Ana didn't know what to do, so she kissed him back. It felt strange…like kissing a good friend might—nice and comfortable, but lacking in the passion of romances she'd always read about. Somewhere in the back of her head she felt a twinge of guilt, but she pushed it away.

Ana pulled back, looking startled. She climbed off of Thor and swam to the edge of the lake. Thor swam after her.

"I apologize," Thor said, stepping out of the water. "I've over-stepped my boundaries."

Ana busied herself with pulling a towel around her shoulders. She paused for a moment and thought about what was bothering her the most, which inevitably, was Loki. Loki…she couldn't help but think if it was he who had kissed her then nothing about this would be wrong. But kissing Thor felt…unjust.

But then she thought about all the things Loki had said to her…or didn't say, for that matter. The way he ignored her. The way he pushed her away after her attempts to talk to him. And it made her incredibly sad, but she couldn't hold out for him forever. For the first time, Ana allowed herself to see what it was that was bothering her: she loved Loki. More than a friend. She loved him with her whole heart, but it was hurting her. And frankly, Ana was tired of being so lonely.

Ana looked at Thor and smiled. "Don't apologize," she said, leaning up on her toes and kissing his cheek gently. "It was nice. Just give me more of a warning next time, will you?"

**Ahhhh, so I never intended for **_**that**_** to happen! But it did and I'm not apologizing! Don't worry, Ana and Loki will have their time…just not yet! You'll have to keep reading. Sorry for the slow update, by the way, but as I said I was visiting a friend last week so I couldn't write. Anyway, more to come! Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok, so a little bit of a mix-up for this chapter. I'm going to be writing from Loki's point of view. I usually never switch POVs, especially not this late into any given story, but I feel like it's relevant to the plot and…I kind of want to try it. Besides, this part would probably be a little boring if it were written in Ana's POV. So…yes; if you hate it, I apologize. Hopefully you don't hate it, though.**

**Also, I'll probably be backtracking a bit. Y'know, writing a few things you've already read, but from Loki's POV. If that makes sense.**

Loki had a hard time succeeding at anything other than lying and sorcery. Therefore, he mostly kept to himself. Or at least, he had, until Ana came along. At first he'd shied away from her—he never intended to let himself become so close to her. He had decided to keep their relationship strictly a surface relationship. After all, Loki _was_ lonely a lot, and he could use a friend…as long as he didn't let himself get to attached. For most people, this would not be a conscious decision, but for Loki everything was a conscious decision, and painstakingly so. He often thought out ever possibility two or three times before making such decisions, as opposed to his brother who acted on any basic impulse or instinct he had.

But Ana had changed everything. She had somehow wormed her way into Loki's heart, in a way he thought no person could. He tried to distance himself from her. He tried not caring, but all that ever did was mess their relationship up even more. It was his fault. It was his fault she was with Thor now, and the sooner he accepted it the sooner he could move on with his life.

It couldn't be that hard to accept, could it? After all, this was how things always turned out.

Thor had everything Loki wanted, and now he had Ana.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"_You're a good fighter," Ana tells him as they walk through the castle hall. "I don't see why you avoid it."_

_Loki suppresses the smile bubbling to his lips. Ana thinks he's a good fighter. Well, he _is_ a good fighter, but that isn't what matters—it's the fact that she said so. He keeps his composure long enough to allow an answer. "It's not my pastime of choice," he says simply._

"_Nor," she continues, "do I understand why you isolate yourself so. They seem to like you."_

_At this, Loki's muscles tense. She doesn't understand—she_ can't_ understand. He wouldn't expect her to. She doesn't have any siblings, and although they both struggle with gaining their parents' acceptance, she will never know the trial it is to be Thor's brother. Everything is a competition with Thor, and Loki never wins—at least not where it counts. And that's his fear with Ana. He's getting too close to her, and he's afraid Thor will steal her away. It's likely to happen, really. Thor is everything a girl would want: handsome, funny, friendly, a real charmer._

_Instead of voicing any of this, Loki smiles grimly. "They tolerate me."_

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

_Loki can hear their laughter from anywhere he stands in the castle. It's unnerving. He hates it. It's the worst noise he has ever heard. And here, he thought Ana's laughter would be the one thing that can always cheer him up. Now he knows this is not the case._

_Thor had already taken Sif—Loki saw the way she looked at him sometimes. She would never look at Loki that way, and Loki had accepted this. Why can't Thor leave Ana alone?_

_He walks up to them and their laughter dies down. "Ana," Loki says stiffly in greeting, trying to keep a neutral expression on his face._

"_Loki, I was waiting for you," Ana says cheerfully. She pulls him into a hug, and for a moment he doesn't know how to respond. He's not good with affection, but his anger melts away as soon as she touches him. "Took you long enough," she says, sitting back down next to Thor. Loki rolls his eyes and the corners of his lips twitch as he tries not to smile._

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"_How do you do it?" she asks, hand unraveling her golden blonde plait._

_Loki picks at the grass, unsure of how to respond. He's not used to other people being cryptic. "Do what?" he asks slowly. His eyes quickly steal a glance at her, but return to the grass before she can take note of this action._

"_Live up to everyone's expectations," Ana says._

_Is this truly what she thinks? Loki can't keep himself from laughing aloud. "You're asking the wrong person, Ana. If anything, I do the exact opposite." And here he thought she really understood his plights. Then again, he rarely speaks of them, even to her._

"_What do you mean?" Ana asks, and Loki knows now he will be forced to explain things to her more fully._

_When he speaks, it's nearly rehearsed sounding, but he eases the words from his mouth and makes them seem impromptu. __"I'm the…black sheep of the family, so to say. It's always__Thor__this and__Thor__that. I can't seem to live up to anything; I am always compared to him and come out lesser for my efforts."_

_"I don't think that's true at all," she responds quietly. "You and Thor both have good qualities…they're just different." She's staring at him now in contemplation. Loki's throat goes dry. She reaches out and cups a warm, soft hand gently under his cheek. Loki stares at her, not knowing how to respond. Her face is only inches away, and he could kiss her on the mouth if he leaned forward just a bit._

_But now is not the moment. It doesn't feel right._

_"And for the record, I think you'd make a fine king." She drops her hand and shrugs a little. "If it means, anything, coming from me."_

_Loki lowers his eyes and whispers inaudibly. "It means everything."_

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

_Ana snorts as Thor stuffs his face with her pastries. "Loki's just mad because I told him he couldn't have any."_

_Loki stands stiffly, arms crossed. The anger inside him only bubbles as she goads him. Oh, the many things he could retort with. But…he isn't angry with Ana, and anything he says will only push her away further—that seems to be a trend these days. Why is he pushing her away? Perhaps because she is so close. He doesn't want to get hurt, especially not if she falls for Thor._

"_Yes, I am ever-so consumed with envy over the pastries," Loki replies snidely. It isn't particularly spiteful, but it definitely is not one of his nicer comments. It could be worse, though, so Loki sees this as a good thing._

_He watches Thor like a hawk and begins to contemplate whether or not there is some sort of sorcery he can inflict upon Thor without anyone's notice._

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"_Thor, I'd like a word," Loki says, gripping his brother's arm and pulling him into an isolated room. He has to be quick; Ana will visit soon and this is definitely not a conversation best overheard._

"_What is it, brother?" Thor asks, pulling his arm back and straightening up. Loki can see he already knows—which is something in itself. Thor rarely thinks ahead about these things, but to be fair it has been a long time coming._

"_I respectfully request you would kindly tone down your affections for Ana," Loki says evenly. His expression is calm. He will not let Thor rattle him._

"_And I respectfully refuse," Thor responds, raising an eyebrow._

_Well, this is definitely not a response Loki had mapped out. Caught off-guard, Loki begins to lose his footing in the conversation. "You—what?"_

"_You heard me, brother. Ana is my _friend_, and I will not change my behaviour toward her based on the notion that you might possibly envy our relationship."_

_Loki blinks. He doesn't think he's ever heard Thor speak so many words at once in his life. "Thor, I'm asking you as my brother. Please. Don't do this."_

_Thor laughs. "Do what? You'll have to be more specific?"_

_Loki furrows his eyebrows. It sounds exactly like something he would say, and Loki wonders for a moment if he's unwittingly taught his brother the art of the silver tongue. "Steal her! I know you favour her!"_

_Thor frowns defensively. "I do not! Not more than a friend, at least."_

_Loki is frustrated. And desperate. "This isn't fair! You've taken Sif already! You can't have _everything_," His voice is strained, and he feels…dirty. As if he's begging—which, he realizes, is exactly what he's doing._

"_Brother, I know not of which you talk!" Thor retorts. __"And I will not sacrifice my friendships on the basis of your delusional notions."_

_"Delusional notions?"__Loki hisses. "Thor it is painstakingly obvious!" He takes a breath, becoming much quieter as he forces himself to calm down. "Brother please…I am asking this one thing of you. I have lived in your shadow my entire life and never complained. Please, just grant me this request."_

_"What, exactly, is your request?" Thor asks. "That I shut myself away when she comes round? She is my friend; I will not do that to her." And before Loki can say anything else, Thor leaves the room. Loki stands there, alone. Isolated. Again. This is how his life will be. Lonely, cold, uncared for. Left in the shadows._

_Thor won't leave Ana. Something great will become of them. Perhaps they will be the next King and Queen of Asgard._

"_Then what of me?" Loki asks the empty room._

**Okay, so I believe that wraps up the memory portion. I still want to do more from Loki's POV, so I'll probably cover that in the next chapter (it was my original intention to actually **_**continue**_** the story in Loki's POV, not just recap some stuff, but the recapping was…interesting, I suppose.) More soon!**


	20. Chapter 20

No one heard from Loki for a week after Thor and Ana started seeing each other.

In all honesty, this was his own fault. It wasn't as if people didn't search for him; on the contrary, he found it increasingly difficult to hide himself from them. Ana, of course, was the first to notice his absence. Thor was in too much of a daze to notice anything going on around him other than Ana, apparently.

Ana had called his name through the halls. She'd visited all of his favourite hiding places, and when she finally found him, he cloaked himself from her. He'd become very skilled at this particular magic. He hadn't intended on hiding from them, really. It was childish, and even he knew so. But he had resolved it in his mind the moment he saw their lips touch.

He remembered the moment very well. He did not want to remember it, but it was etched in his mind—engraved. He lived it over and over again until he wanted to either scratch his eyes out or remove his heart, whichever ended up causing him less pain. He wasn't sure which.

He wasn't angry with Ana. Well, that was a lie. He was. The difference was, he didn't _blame_ her. That being said, he couldn't help but resent her for the situation. Why? What was so _great_ about Thor? Loki rolled his eyes and rested his head in his hands. He was sitting, yet again, in the dusty attic above a hidden chamber of the castle. He gazed out of the small window: it was raining outside. It felt nice that the weather finally somewhat reflected his emotions, rather than mocking him. Before today, it had been perpetually sunny.

Loki didn't know what to do at this point. What was the point of anything, anymore? Thor had everything that mattered to him. Thor had good friends. Thor was a great warrior. He had Odin's acceptance—something that no matter how hard Loki tried, he never seemed to obtain. And someday, Thor would take over the throne. It was inevitable. Loki expected nothing less, even though he doubted Thor would ever be remotely wise enough to be King of Asgard.

None of that mattered to him anymore. There was a time when it did, more than anything. A time when those facts haunted him and made him bitter. But that time had passed when Ana came into his life. Slowly but surely, she'd nearly convinced him he didn't _have_ to measure up to Thor. He was good just as he was…just as _Loki_. He didn't have to compete.

But the moment Ana met Thor, Loki knew that was all over. To think he'd almost believed her. _Almost_. But she'd gone and proved him right. Normally, Loki would love to gloat, but he wasn't particularly proud of being right in this case. He hadn't wanted any of this. He didn't want to compete with Thor—he hardly knew he was competing for Ana until it was too late and he'd managed to push her away.

It was pathetic. The only person he'd become close to was supposedly in love with his half-wit brother, and there was nothing he could do about it. And that was just it! In anything else, Loki could turn to his own strengths. When Thor was better in battle, Loki could use his magic. When Thor was better with friends, Loki could use his wit. But now that Thor had Ana…there was nothing else to turn to.

If only he hadn't pushed her away. Why had he pushed her away? She'd gotten too close, and it was a reflex. He didn't want to be that close to anyone, or at least he didn't think he did. It only caused pain and heartache, in his experience. But pushing her away had ended up causing the same heartache, so did it really matter in the end?

Loki stood up. He couldn't sit here and dwell in his melancholy any longer. It was slowly killing him. Making sure to cloak himself in invisibility, he walked around the castle for a while. He didn't hear Thor or Ana anywhere, which was good, he supposed. Seeing them could only bring on more pain. He looked outside and decided it was time to go to the only place he knew could let him escape from all this: the meadow.

Ana wouldn't be there, he didn't think. It was torrentially raining. Besides, if she was there, he'd leave. So he set out on his trek to the meadow, weaving a path through the rainy forest. By the time he arrived, he was drenched, but he didn't mind. The rain felt nice on his skin.

Moments later—or hours; he didn't keep track of the time—he heard her.

"We need to talk," Ana said, walking up alongside him. He was sitting cross-legged in the grass, staring at the woods. She sat down next to him, and for a moment, it felt like it had years ago.

"How did you know I was here?" Loki asked absently, not bothering to remove his gaze from the woods. He didn't want to see her brilliant blue eyes or her bright pink lips. He hated the way she looked at him, full of pity. He didn't want that. Pity was the last thing he wanted, especially from her.

He heard her clear her throat—something he noticed she did when she found something particularly incredulous. "Oh please," she scoffed, "I know you better than you know yourself." Loki thought about refuting this, but the moment he opened his mouth, she corrected herself. "At times," she added thoughtfully as she crossed her legs.

Loki swallowed. "What would you prefer to discuss, Lady Ana?" Keep things formal. Not friendly, but not cold. Don't get too close.

"I don't want your formalities, Loki," Ana said scathingly. She paused, and when she spoke again, her tone was much softer. "I came to say that this…Thor and I…it doesn't change anything. Between us, I mean."

Loki's eyebrows knitted downward. If there was any open, soft spot in his heart, it had now hardened. He felt as if an invisible armour had just pulled around him, encasing him, protecting him. Loki turned to her, gaze dark. "Really," he said, tone wicked, "Pray tell, Lady Ana, did you think I _cared_?"

Ana's eyes were wide on his. Visible shock and pain flickered across her features, as if he'd slapped her across the face. Then, her eyes narrowed and he saw her jaw clench. Her soft knuckles curled into fists at her sides. Through a clenched jaw, she spoke. "It seems I was mistaken," she said formally.

Uncrossing her legs, she moved to stand up, but Loki's long fingers caught her wrist and snagged her back down to the grass. He pulled her face close to his and spoke slowly, pronouncing each syllable: _"The word 'mistake' implies the act was not deliberate."_

Loki wasn't quite sure to what he was referring to anymore. Or better yet, whom.

He looked into her eyes and saw the fear and anger present there. Ana didn't move. Instead, she spoke back, in a tone he'd never heard before. It reeked of betrayal and pain. _"One cannot wait for a train that will never come."_

Ana pulled back her wrist harshly. In the next moment, she was gone, and he was alone again. As much as the anger pumped through his veins, he couldn't help but feel the burn in his heart all the more as he watched her walk away.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long! I've been very busy and now I'm visiting relatives, so I hardly have time to write. But I'm still working on it, don't worry! Anyway, I'd intended for Ana and Loki to talk it out but it seems they had other plans. Plans that…didn't go so well. These two are more stubborn than I thought! I'll have to be extra creative to somehow get them to talk again. Wish me luck.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Wow, I am so sorry. I really have no other excuse other than real life got pretty hectic and I lost interest in this. However, upon seeing The Avengers, I would really like to finish it! I'm sure it's irrelevant now and no one will probably read it…but I'm going to finish it, at least for me. For those of you still reading, if any of you even exist, thank you and, again, I apologize profoundly!**

Ana didn't hear from Loki for a long time after that.

She pretended not to care. Most of her time was spent with Thor and the others. They sparred together, ate together, drank together, had silly adventures…enough to keep Ana busy and her mind off of Loki. She never asked about him, and he never came up. It was as if somehow the others knew it was a sensitive topic, and therefore avoided it.

It was as if Loki didn't exist.

In some ways this was a good thing. Sometimes, she almost forgot about him. But there were always those little reminders—small things that wouldn't matter to anyone else. And whenever they came upon her, so did a wave of thoughts concerning Loki that threatened to drown her. So she built a dam to keep them out. She vowed not to think of him, and that was that. Of course, Ana had never learned the complexities of controlling her thoughts. They tended to wander, and whenever they did, they wandered exactly where she told them not to: _Loki_.

But she kept herself busy for the most part, and that was that. She had nothing more to say to him. She had reached out to him and he had refused her, just as he had refused her his whole life. She only ever wanted to be friends with the prince, but he swatted away her every attempt at affection.

Her relationship with Thor continued. Ana loved Thor, and Thor treated her like a princess. Ana's mother, of course, was thrilled about this. Everyone in the kingdom knew that Thor was the more likely of the brothers to ascend to the throne, and although Ana's mother would have settled for Loki, there was no contest when it came to Thor. This put Ana in her mother's good book, for once, which made life at home much easier to tolerate.

On the outside, everything was going well for Ana. She had friends, she had a future, she was on good terms with her mother, and she had a romantic relationship with the future king of Asgard. Nothing in her life had been more perfect.

But if that were so, why did she long for the days she spent in the meadow with the other prince?

One day, Ana was walking through the castle gardens with Thor, as they usually did when it was particularly sunny. Thor handed her a flower.

"For you, Lady—" Thor stopped as Ana gave him a look. She hated when he called her that. "Ana," he finished, clumsily placing the flower behind her ear. She smiled softly.

"Thank you, Thor, god of Thunder, prince of Asgard," she said in a mockingly formal tone as she curtsied. They continued to walk through the garden. Thor almost always gave her flowers. The most Loki ever did was throw the grass he had picked on her. Remembering this, a smile briefly came to her lips before it turned into a frown. She pushed the thoughts away. _She wouldn't think of him._

"Does something trouble you, Ana?" Thor asked.

Ana considered telling him the truth. She could easily deny it and Thor would let it go—whether he believed her or not, she was never sure; Thor could be very dense at times. Instead, she took a more subtle route.

"Why do we never speak of Loki?" Ana asked. She looked up at Thor, surprised to see guilt in his expression.

"Loki does not approve of our relationship," Thor answered. "He will not speak to me. He avoids me, even in the castle."

Ana nodded. "I wondered. I haven't seen him in weeks." She thought back to their last fateful conversation. White-hot anger burned through her for a moment before it turned to utter sorrow. Her throat went dry. She bit her lip, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over at any moment. She wouldn't cry. Not for _him_.

She didn't know how much longer she could fight it. Looking up at Thor, she attempted a smile. "I'm going to go use the wash," she said quickly before skipping off to the castle.

Ana didn't know how, but somehow she ended up in the old library, where Loki used to take her. Her feet wandered there of their own accord. She looked in the corner where he often sat; it was empty.

Tears stained her cheeks as she frantically wiped them off, sniffing. She kneeled beside one of the long columns of books and ran her finger along them before finding one. _Theoretical Magic and Multi-Dimensional Mathematics_. She smiled as she picked it up, remembering how fascinated she had once been with it when Loki first showed her. All of that seemed a lifetime ago now.

She didn't know why she took it. Perhaps she wanted to steal it away to get back at Loki for what he'd done to her. She felt wronged by him. But deep down, she knew that was not her prime motivation. Ana needed it. She needed a sentiment of him, a reminder that he was real, _anything_. Anything that made all the years she spent with him mean something.

Either way, she tucked it under her dress and quickly ran back to the garden, back to Thor as if nothing happened.

If she had only looked behind her once more, she would have seen Loki staring after her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Oh goodness, thank you to those of you who left reviews and are still reading this! I apologize profusely again. You all are wonderful I'm working on exams now so I had to type this one out quickly…if there are any typos, I apologize! Enjoy.**

Loki scarcely made his presence known.

It was quite easy to hide away from the world—just as easy as he had anticipated. When he was missing, no one questioned it. It was as if they expected it from him. Either that, or they didn't care. He was inclined to believe the latter.

He and Thor weren't speaking. They tolerated each other when interactions were unavoidable, such as sparring practice or feast time. But Loki rarely attended even those events. Since Thor spent most of his time with Ana, it was the last place Loki wanted to be.

It was easy not to be seen. Harder yet, not to be present.

He'd taken quite a liking to invisibility once he realized it was impossible for him to go without seeing her face for more than a few days. He knew it was wrong, but it was an easy compromise. Though he couldn't bring himself to speak to her, he couldn't go without seeing her, even in passing.

For Loki, it was a bittersweet notion. He could see her and sometimes even fool himself into thinking things would be ok. However, he knew this was not the case. He also found it disheartening to see that Ana went about her activities in the same way without him. She never mentioned him. She didn't appear to be mourning. Loki could only conclude what he had thought all along: she didn't care about him.

But no matter—it wasn't as if he hadn't expected that. He had kept her at arms length all these years for this exact purpose. If he never let her into his heart, he had nothing to lose. But then…why did he feel so lost?

He knew why. Ana had snuck into his heart unexpectedly. Even though he tried not to care, he couldn't deny that he did, otherwise her absence in his life would be of no consequence to him. He had treaded the line between friends and lovers for so long, unwilling to commit to one, and now he found he was unable to commit to either.

Currently, he was watching Thor and Ana from his window in the attic. They were strolling about the gardens, as the most always did on days with fair weather. Loki frowned. He sometimes envied Thor's ability to conjure thunder, as it would be a perfect solution to the situation. Heaving a sigh, he decided he had had enough torture for the time being. He needed to get away from the idea of Ana with Thor…the idea in itself was completely ridiculous. He still did not see the allure Thor held, but perhaps it was because he knew Thor like others did not. The only thing Loki found significant about Thor was that he would most likely ascend to the throne—something Loki had begrudgingly accepted for the time being.

But Ana was not that kind of girl. She would not foster a relationship based on her future—in fact, Loki knew that she often disregarded a practical future in favour of one with more excitement. So why was it that she was with Thor? He did not understand. He had gone over it in his mind a thousand times, and yet each time only brought about more confusion.

Sure, Thor and Ana had been good friends. They shared good moments together—moments Loki had often envied. However, Thor did understand Ana like Loki did. Loki knew Ana better than anyone. And, even though he hated to admit it, she knew him just as well.

Loki shook his head, attempting to scatter the thoughts from his mind. He needed a distraction, and what better than his library? He walked to the library and settled into his corner, burying his nose in a book. Books were his only comfort these days.

Then, he heard a noise. Quickly, he cloaked himself with invisibility—an automatic defense mechanism at this point. Just as he did so, he saw Ana round the corner.

He moved to the opposite end of the corner and watched her, careful not to make a sound. Emotions rushed through him—happiness, sorrow, guilt…he wasn't sure which to believe, but he knew all of them were true to something inside of him. He watched her wipe her eyes—was she crying? After a moment of confusion, Loki realized that he had been wrong the whole time. Ana was just as good at pretending as Loki was at hiding. Even though she didn't show it, she _did_ care, and he was wrong to ever doubt her. Loki couldn't be angry with her for this, as his actions reflected the same logic on his part.

She pulled out a book—the first book he had brought to her meadow—and slid it under her clothes. Normally he would have scolded her for doing so, but he merely watched, unsure of what to do. He wanted this silence to end. He wanted to hold her and never let her go….

But he was Loki. He couldn't do that. He wouldn't let himself be that vulnerable…and even if he had wanted to, he didn't know how. So he did what he did best.

He watched her leave.


	23. Chapter 23

Ana was laying down in the meadow.

It was a sunny day, which she hated. It seemed the weather was mocking her as of late. Normally, she would have loved a day like this. But now, it seemed most everything bothered her. She hated when the birds sang or when the flowers bloomed or when she saw other people laughing and smiling. How could the world continue to spin round when she was so unhappy?

But spin, it did.

She couldn't fill the void Loki had left in her life, and she hated it. She had tried to fill it with anything she could think of—Thor, school, her mother, sparring, reading, new hobbies…. She had even taken up knitting, which she detested with every fiber of her being. But everything she did reminded her of Loki sooner or later.

It wasn't fair, what he'd done to her. How could he leave her like this, so empty? But Loki was never one to think of anyone other than himself, at least not in her mind. Thus, her overwhelming sadness over his loss turned into an extreme hatred and anger over his absence.

Still, Ana found herself laying in her—_their_—meadow, reading the book she had stolen. She wasn't sure if she was reading it to remember him or to spite him, but somehow it seemed like one in the same. As her eyes ran across the page, she realized how complex the theories were and knew she would never understand it, just as she would never understand _him_. She snapped the book shut and threw it across the meadow, not caring where it landed. Hopefully somewhere very far away, or in the water, where Loki could never recover it.

"You shouldn't treat your belongings so frivolously," came a voice from the edge of the meadow. Ana froze. She did not turn around, for fear of responding with an unpredictable reaction. His voice continued, just as she remembered it—silky, like velvet, with a certain preciseness that could not be replicated: "Or should I say _my_ belongings."

Still frozen, Ana spoke quietly. "What are you doing here?" She internally kicked herself as soon as she finished the sentence, knowing exactly what his response would be.

"Same as you, I suppose." Were they forever doomed to repeat the same familiar encounter? She could almost hear the smile in his voice, and it angered her.

She wanted to respond in the usual way. She wanted to pretend nothing had happened, to go back to how things used to be. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. It wasn't fair. So instead, she merely murmured, "Don't."

There was a long pause in which she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, ever constant. Finally, Loki spoke. "I'm leaving," he said, all pretense of politeness now gone from his voice. In those two words, she could hear nearly every emotion he was feeling—a rare occurrence. His voice was…_raw._

He was leaving? Leaving the meadow? Her mind refused to even consider any other interpretation of the statement. "What is that supposed to mean?" she questioned.

When he spoke, his voice was even again. "I've found it imperative to my studies that I should leave Asgard for a while."

A part of her heart broke upon hearing this. Did he not realize he could so easily manipulate her feelings? Perhaps he did know, and he just did not care.

"So, what are you doing here?" she questioned again harshly. Part of her wanted him to feel the pain she felt. Part of her wanted him to _suffer_. The other part…wasn't so sure.

"I thought—," Loki began, but he stopped short. "I wanted to…." His voice trailed off. Ana slowly turned to look at him. She stood up. Loki's eyes were on the ground; she could barely see his face, which was shaded by the trees.

"_What?"_ Ana practically spat. She was sick of this game. For once, she wanted him to be straight with her—no lies, no subtext…just honesty.

When he looked up at her, she saw tears welling in his eyes. With a start, Ana realized she had never seen him cry. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Goodbye."

Ana stood, stunned for what seemed like eternity before she realized she was, once again, alone.

**Well…that didn't go how I intended it. Hmm. I wonder what will happen next. I really want them to stop fighting! Gah. I'll try to update soon!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry I couldn't update until now! I'm in the midst of final exams for school. Aarghh. So…enjoy this read! It's short, but…I think it does its job.**

Ana was frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Then, it hit her.

A sudden wave of emotions washed over her; it was impossible to interpret them all at once, and she didn't have the time to go through them individually. In the midst of it all, she heard someone screaming from far away. It took her a moment, but she realized she was running, and it was in fact her own voice she was hearing.

"_LOKI," _she screamed as she ran through the woods, faster than she had ever run in her life. Tears were streaming down her face, but she didn't feel like she was sobbing. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she ran through the forest, hopping over tree stumps and small ditches. The castle was a ways away, and deep down she knew he probably wouldn't even be there. But running to it was all she could seem to do at the moment.

She kept calling his name in hopes that he would hear her; she didn't know how his vanishing act worked, so it was worth a try. _"LOKI—," _she yelled again, but her voice caught as she tripped over the root of a tree and fell flat on her face.

She didn't move. She couldn't. Instead, she lay in the dirt and let the sobs wrack through her small body, unable to stop.

She felt a cold hand on her shoulder. Slowly, Ana looked up, sniffing. It was Loki. His face was paler than the whitest snowfall.

Quietly, desperately, she questioned him: "Why are you doing this to me?"

Loki opened his mouth, but couldn't give an answer. Finally, he replied. "I could ask the same of you."

Suddenly, Ana's face hardened. "No. No you _can't_ ask the same of me." She stood, and continued to speak, louder now, finding her voice. He backed away reflexively, but she walked toward him, unyielding. "_I_ wasn't the one who stopped caring. _I_ wasn't the one who wasn't there. _I _wasn't the one who stopped talking to you."

His eyes were wide as she approached him. He didn't have a response, other than to stare at her. Somehow this angered her more. How could he just stand there without explanation? She wanted reparation for all the wrongs he had done her, all the heartaches he had caused her.

"You're a selfish bastard! Why would you do that to me?" She pushed him unable to control her anger. He stumbled backward, and seeing him do so made her feel less helpless. "_Why would you do that to me?"_ She pushed him again, and again, and again….

Finally he caught her wrists. Both of them froze, staring into each other's eyes. His were emerald green, the brightest she'd ever seen them. Better yet, they were unguarded. Every emotion he was feeling…she could see it. And she could feel it, too. The burning anger in her heart suddenly turned to something else—something…deep, fiery, and passionate.

"Because I love you!" he said.

His words hung in the air for half a second before his lips were on hers.

**Let me know what you think; I'm not sure if I should address more stuff after, or just leave it as it is. I kind of have a few other things in mind, especially with Thor and them dealing with this stuff…but then, I don't want to drone on if I'm boring you!**


	25. Chapter 25

Now what?

Ana sat in her room, thinking about what had just happened. She wasn't entirely sure about how she had gotten there from the woods; it was all quite a blur. Upon entering the house, she had vaguely noted that her mother greeted her. She was in such a daze that she hadn't responded; everything seemed surreal right now. Her mind reeled with thoughts and questions. What had just happened? What would come next?

But for the most part, she was still reliving what followed their kiss in the woods.

• • •

Suddenly, his lips were on hers. She didn't have time to react, so her body did it for her. She responded with such enthusiasm, that it somehow forced some sort of logic into Loki, who immediately detached himself from her and began to apologize.

"I-I'm sorr—," he began, but Ana was kissing him again before he could finish his sentence. She couldn't control herself, or at least she didn't feel like it. She was kissing him again, running her tongue over his soft lips and gripping his chest, feeling the smooth, toned muscle underneath his thin layer of clothes. After half a second, he responded back, mimicking her movements. One of his hands was in her hair, the other on her waist, and it was perfect. It felt complete. It felt as if finally, everything had clicked into place. It felt…_right_.

And judging by his response, Loki felt the same. They were both ravenous for the other's touch. Ana pushed harder against his chest, and he stumbled back for a moment before getting his footing. Ana threw her arms around his neck, and upon doing this, felt him shift to rest his back against a nearby tree. She pushed him against it and kissed him again, placing a hand along his smooth, sharp jaw. She felt him smile underneath her lips, and she smiled too. This is what she had been searching for. Something inside her burned bright and passionate, and she never wanted the moment to end.

But, as moments often do, it ended.

It was not her, but Loki, who finally pulled back. But upon doing so, Ana didn't feel rejected. She felt…invincible, as if nothing could go wrong. He merely watched her with a soft smile, his green eyes on hers as if nothing in the world mattered except for her. And for him, this was true. Ana realized that they were both breathing fairly heavy. She unhooked her arms from his neck and pulled back a little, but he gripped her arm and slid his hand down to twine with hers. A smile settled upon his lips—genuine, the most genuine she'd ever seen on him. She smiled back, unable to hold back. All of the mystery was gone, replaced with a deeper, more intense feeling that she could only describe with one word: love.

They were both silent for a long time, but it wasn't a painful silence as silences often are. It was a much needed, satisfied silence. Neither of them spoke, not because they didn't know what to say (though, truth be told, Ana didn't), but because they didn't need to say anything. Both parties were content to let the moment be, and let it last as long as possible.

Because once it was over, there was much to think about and much to be done.

A sense of dread began to take the place of the satisfaction in both of their hearts. Ana began to think of the consequences—of her mother's, her friend's, her family's reactions…. But nothing hurt her more than when she thought of Thor. Thor, the loveable boyfriend who could do no wrong. Thor, whose only flaw was being oblivious, and perhaps prideful on certain occasions. But never once had he wronged her—never once had he made her feel insignificant or inadequate, as Loki often had. Ana felt a nagging guilt beginning to grow in her heart, but she pushed it away for now. For now, there was this. There was him.

Ana was then pulled back to the reality of the situation. She looked around; they were sitting on the grass now. Loki was staring at her, and behind his eyes she could see dozens of thoughts floating in and out of his head. His expression, however, did not give him away. He was composed again—but not with the same coldness that was usually present. She could tell he was analyzing every breath she took. Her hands picked idly at the grass. His eyes flickered down briefly to note this before returning back to hers. She smiled uncertainly.

"I…" she began, swallowing. She didn't know why, but it still scared her to say it. "I love you too, you know."

There was a brief change in his expression—relief, perhaps? It was amazing how Ana could catch his emotions now; it was as if there was a miniscule crack in his armour that had been slightly widened moments ago. If she was watching closely, which she often was, she could catch small changes that gave him away. These changes mostly occurred in his eyes.

"I gathered," he finally said in a half-jesting tone. Ana smiled, hearing the underlying uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes," she replied, "well, I just wanted to be clear." She reached over and took his hand. Instead of pulling away, as he often did, he gripped it tightly. "Was I?"

He smiled fully, and it was brilliant. Ana had never realized how beautiful he was when he smiled, probably because it was not something he did often. His entire face lit up with an infectious joy that gave her no choice but to smile as well.

"Crystal."


	26. Chapter 26

Ana and Thor sat in the garden.

She didn't know what to say. There was no easy way out of this. There wasn't a circumstance where she wasn't hurting him. Perhaps she didn't care for Thor like she did for Loki…but she still cared about Thor. She didn't want to lose him completely. So how was she supposed to tell him? She wished desperately there was some way where they all came out happier…but that wasn't how life worked. Ana knew hurting Thor was inevitable, but she wanted to put it off as long as possible.

Besides, she hated confrontation. She was horrible at it.

So, they sat in silence. The tension was palpable. Even Thor wasn't completely oblivious to it, this time. Ana twisted her hands together.

"Is there something wrong, Lady Ana?" Thor asked. "Have I done something to upset you?"

Ana felt even worse upon hearing his assumption of blame. "No," she said quickly, "no, it's not like that. You've done nothing wrong, Thor." She smiled sadly. He returned her smile, and it killed her inside to not know if she'd ever see it again, or that she would be the one to take it away.

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe he'd be alright. She knew he would, eventually, anyway. But…she didn't know if _they_ would. And she hated that. Ana just wanted to go back to how things were before. She loved Thor. She couldn't stand to lose him.

Furthermore, she cringed to think of the damage it might do to Thor and Loki's relationship. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a rift between the two princes. Even though much of the time, Loki acted slightly put off by Thor, she knew better. She'd seen them when he thought no one was watching. It was actually quite adorable. They had a much better relationship than Loki had ever led her to believe. And although it was obvious there was some resentment on Loki's behalf, what with Thor constantly overshadowing him, Loki loved him all the same.

Ana certainly didn't want to ruin that.

She sighed and looked at Thor. _Just do it_, she told herself. _Get it over with_. What if he hated her? He probably would. Was it worth losing such a close friend over?

Yes. Yes, it was. Her mind turned to Loki—his bright green eyes, his gleaming smile, his pale skin, strong jaw—and she knew it was worth it. She knew that what she felt for Loki was incomparable to anything she would ever feel for anyone else. She thought about the way he held her in his arms when she was upset, or the way he would throw pebbles at her when she was reading, or the way he'd pull her braids when they were younger. She remembered the times he'd make a fool of himself when she was down, just to make her smile. And the times she'd rant about her mother for hours upon end, and somehow he always had a consoling word to offer, or some sort of advice. And he'd _listen_ to her—that was something. He never passively let her speak. She knew just by looking at him that he was analyzing every word that came from her mouth. When he gave her his opinion, he never indulged her—he said what he thought, even if it was hard for her to hear, because he wanted what was best for her.

And sometimes, he'd say nothing at all. Sometimes, he didn't have to.

Ana looked at Thor, knowing full well what she had to do. But she couldn't do it…not yet. It was too soon. She had to figure out a way to ease out of the situation. So she excused herself and walked inside the castle, fleeing to the bathroom like the coward she was.

When she closed the door, she jumped. Loki was standing behind it. Her hand flew to her chest. "Don't do that!"

He stepped closer—much closer. His hand twined with hers. It was strange; she wasn't used to his affection. But it was also very contagious. She wanted it. "Did you speak with Thor?" he asked, stepping even closer, if it was possible.

Ana backed against the wall instinctively. He moved closer. His lips hovered over hers. "Well…" she began, but leaned forward to kiss him instead.

He pulled back before their lips could touch. She hated how quickly and smoothly he moved. It was vastly unfair. A crease formed between his eyebrows. "Did you?"

Ana looked down. "I couldn't!" she said defensively. "I can't."

Loki mulled this over for a moment. Ana wanted desperately to hear his thoughts. His eyes flickered back and forth in thought until they settled back on her, accusingly. "Can't or won't?" he asked quietly.

Ana sighed. "I will. I just need to find the right way."

Loki nodded slowly. Then he looked at her and arched a brow. "Well, better sooner than later," he said, dark voice laced with mischief. The corners of his lips curved upward.

Ana frowned, confused, until he stepped closer and kissed her—briefly but passionately. When she caught her breath and opened her eyes, he was gone.


End file.
